Why We Appreciate Men

Why We Appreciate Men And How Our Bubbles Get Burst When He Ain't Prince Charming!! (and added comments)

1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. (At least that's what his girlfriend/wife says - depending on which YOU are!)

2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. (The *names deleted* of the world. . .teehee!!)

3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not. (Yeh, don'tcha love it when they say you look great. . .just don't get over 200 lbs!!)

4. They're beyond enthusiastic about sex. (OK if they are discriminate. . .about who they are having it with!!)

5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. (And don't be shocked if it is their wife. . ."you helped me through a hard time in our marriage and now it's better than ever" OR. . ."yes, I confess, I DID have a fling (you!!), but let's not let that interfere with "us"!!)

6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek. (Well, at least the newly shaved cheek. . .and just so it isn't back hair!!!)

7. Bravery around snakes, waterbugs, bats and flat tires. Sometimes a MYTH!! (The sexiest man I ever knew - among others - do not have that particular instinct!)

8. Their unapologetic lust for a nice hunk of beef or chocolate cake. (And, sometimes to our dismay. . .just their unapologetic lust for a hunk!!) That's when our female phrase "WHAT a WASTE!!!" comes in handy!!

9. Their ability to solve problems simply by throwing a ball around. (Better than throwing US around. . .)

10. The glimpse you get, when they wear their baseball cap backwards of their inner Little Leaguer. (That is something I will just leave alone. . .kind of cute on some. . .)

11. How tender they get when they cry and how seldom they do it. [When their team loses. . .or when they are at a pick-up bar and she/he turns out to be just waaaaayyyyyyy too young. . .and the ones who are interested are Madam-look-alikes (as in Madam and Waylon!)]

12. What they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action. (. . .at the slot machines or the Baccarat tables. . .OR hitting on their secretaries!)

13. They make excellent companions when driving through rough neighborhoods or walking past dark alleys. (Say WHAT!!??!!)

14. They really love their moms. They remind us of our dads. (Richard Simmons loves HIS Mom and doesn't remind me one thing of my Dad!! Nor Dave Letterman. . .hmmmmmmm!!??)

15. They don't mind accompanying a woman to a party even though she looks like a movie star and they look like the chauffeur. (I ain't touchin' that one cuz I know people with limos!!)

16. Their near-endless appetite for discussing the ins and outs of work and money - ours as well as theirs. (well, the ins/outs of about anything and OUR money, in particular)

17. Their genuine ardor for tinkering with toilets, changing oil and assembling gas grills - jobs any intelligent woman can do but would be nuts to volunteer for. (Some do, some don't. . .either THEY do it or it gets HIRED done. . . I don't even want to LEARN that stuff and don't blame them if THEY don't!!)

18. They never care what their horoscope, their mother-in-law, nor the neighbors say. (. . .AMEN!!)

19. They rarely lie about their age, their weight or their clothing size. (. . .don't get this wrong. . .they DO lie about fishing, money and women!!)

20. How awestruck they are in the face of a Wonderbra or a homemade cookie. (. . .all with the same enthusiasm!!)

21. How sexy their butts look in jeans. (. . .this person must know David Bowie!)

22. How sexy their hands look holding ours. (No contest. . .)

23. Their face is a treasure to behold when they give us a present they picked out. (. . .and they are pretty decent about it when we exchange it for something we really like, too!!)

24. Their ignorance is usually amusing (Sometimes. . .depends on OUR mood !!) (If we are REALLY, REALLY gone on him. . .he is the smartest man in the world, regardless of how ignorant. . .did I say that??!!)

25. They have a great sense of competition (Good if it is at work/earning $$$$. . .bad if it is notches on belts or bedposts!!)

26. They can make great sex partners ("CAN" is the operative word here. . .usually have to have some in-house training!)

27. They give great hugs, ( and always melt our hearts when a sweet "I love you Princess" is added) (Princess, Schmitzess. . .all I ask is that I be treated no differently than the Queen!!)

28. Though they often try to hide it, they're very tenderhearted and caring. (and they are MASTERS at hiding it. . .oh, to be fair - there ARE moments. . .)

29. They have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don't want them to (Good when it is hubby/boyfriend. . .BAD when it is David Bowie/Lenny Kravitz) (REALLY bad when it is Bill Clinton. . .)

30. They don't care whether colours match but are willing to be concerned if we want them to be (. . .unless it is at the football game. . .then COLOR counts!!)

31. They can be taught (. . .and when you get one trained. . .just hang in there as the older they get - the harder to train!!!)

32. They give us a peek at the little boy inside when they get sick or happy or hurt. (More like the Pamper/Binky stage. . .)

 

The Top 16 Things That Can Get a Guy Banned From the Men's Union

16 You catch yourself thinking, "You know, what this bed needs is a few more pillows."

15 "What do you think: a Zima or a white zinfandel?"

14 You rhapsodize about taking that chick with the great rack home from the bar for a long night of sweet cuddling and General Foods International Coffee.

13 You not only know the difference between a puff pastry and a cream puff, but your choux paste swan took first place at the county fair.

12 "Ewww, gross! Two women kissing!"

11 "You know, take away the steroids and over-the-top sideshow atmosphere from pro wrestling and it's just like ballet!"

10 Your new Martha Burke signature putter.

9 Not only can you identify Sarah Hughes and Tara Lipinski, you can articulate the logic behind the "artistic impression" scores in figure skating.

8 You turn down playoff tickets so you can watch Cher's farewell concert on TV.

7 You complain that the "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" movie was not true to the book.

6 Sure, it's the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl and you've had a lot to drink, but you can't resist commenting on how those uniforms would look a lot neater if only they'd been finished with an overedge chain rather than a two-thread lock stitch.

5 Your "Bridges of Madison County" lunch box.

4 You not only sing show tunes at karaoke, you employ full choreography.

3 You ask your barber to give you a "Richard Simmons."

2 When the guys put you in charge of "entertainment" for the bachelor party in Vegas, you buy tickets to see Celine Dion.

1 "No oral sex for me tonight, honey -- I don't feel very fresh down there."

The Six Most Important Men In a Woman's Life

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Doctor-Because he says-
"Take off all your clothes"

Dentist-Because he says-
"Open wide"

Milkman-Because he says-
"Do you want it in the front or back?"

Hairdresser-Because he says-
"Want it teased of blown?"

Interior Decorator-Because he says-
"Once it's in you'll love it"

Banker-Because he says-
"If you take it out too soon you'll lose interest