Things Not to Say to a Naked Woman

1 Cool, I've never been to the Grand Canyon. 

2 How many storage boxes can you fit in there?!? 

3 You must be very experienced. 

4 Remember, you said this was a freebie...right? 

5 Wait, let me get a board and rope so I don't fall in. 

6 I gotta take off my watch, wouldn't wanna lose it. 

7 Why do you wear a bra when you've already got a belt. 

8 Would you mind rolling around in this flour. 

9 I heard carpenters dream about you. 

10 So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. 

11 Look.. I can get my whole arm in. 

12 It's a good thing you have so many other talents. 

13 Is that an optical illusion? 

14 If I look right at it I feel like I'm falling in. 

15 Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head? 

16 Do you mind if I wear one too...in case yours falls off? 

17 Jeez...What ya got up there, dead fish? 

18 I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. 

19 Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow? 

20 I've been wondering all night what that smell was. 

21 Maybe if I get really wasted I wont mind your body. 

22 You know they have surgery to fix that. 

23 Everybody down at the bar said you were good. 

24 Oh, that's why they call it a Wonderbra, it makes those lines go away 

25 Huh? They told me your name was Jezebel. 

26 I expect a good time, at least, the bathroom wall said so. 

27 You're not as ugly as people claim, not quite anyway. 

28 You're not 'that' fat. 

29 I see why everyone said, with you, it's better with the lights out. 

30 Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does.

 

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually mean...

10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)

6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)

2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)

and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)

Confucius Say

1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.

2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.

3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.

5. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly.

6. Man with holes in pockets, feels cocky all day.

7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

8. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone.

9. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.

10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.

11. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk.

12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.

13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

14. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.

15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.

17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

18. When lady say no, she mean maybe, When lady say maybe, she mean yes, When lady say yes--she no lady!