Inspirational
Poster Ideas
Sayings you'd like to see on
office inspirational posters :
If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company
someday.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.
If you think we're a bad firm, you should see our rivals!
Rome did not create a great empire by having
meetings - - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity ... probably has a scapegoat.
ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.....
We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union
members!
2 days without a Human Rights Violation!
If at first you don't succeed - - try management.
It's only unethical if you get caught.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never quit until you have another job.
Work harder slaves!
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
If you can read this, you're not working!
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile - It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
Pride, commitment, teamwork - - words we use to get you to work for free.
Succeed in spite of management.
Work : It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
There are two kinds of people in life : people who like their jobs, and people
who don't work here anymore
Dear Bank
Manager
Dear Bank Manager,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay
my plumber last month. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have
elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the
funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit
of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for
eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also
for debiting my account with $ 5 0 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I
caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this
incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways. You have set me on
the path of fiscal righteousness.
No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I
am restructuring my affairs in the second half of 1 9 9 9, taking as my model
the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. I can think of no
greater compliment, and I know you will be excited and proud to hear it.
To this end, please be advised about the following changes :
First, I have noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls
and letters, when I try to contact you I am confronted by the impersonal,
ever-changing, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From
now on I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh and blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be
automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and
confidentially to an employee of your branch, whom you must nominate. You will
be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to
open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require our chosen
employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I
know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no
alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
countersigned by a Justice of the Peace, and that the mandatory details of his
/ her financial situation ( income, debts, assets and liabilities ) must be
accompanied by documented proof.
In due course I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he / she must
quote in all dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 2 8
digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required
to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation
is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further by introducing you to my new
telephone system, which you will notice, is very much like yours. My authorized
contact at your bank, the only person with whom I will have any dealings, may
call me at any time and will be answered by an automated voice. By pressing
buttons on the phone, he / she will be guided thorough an extensive set of
menus :
1. To make an appointment to see me
2. To query a missing repayment
3. To make a general complaint or inquiry
4. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there;
Extension of living room to be communicated at the time the call is received;
5. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am still sleeping. Extension of
bedroom to be communicated at the time the call is received;
6. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
Extension of toilet to be communicated at the time the call is received.
7. To transfer the call to my mobile phone in case I am not at home.
8. To leave a message on my computer. To leave a message a password to access
my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the
contact.
9. To return to the main menu and listen carefully to options 1 through 8.
The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated
answering service. While this may on occasion involve a lengthy wait, uplifting
music will play for the duration. This month I've chosen a refrain from The
Best Of Woody Guthrie :
" Oh, the banks are made of marble
With a guard at every door
And the vaults are filled with silver
That the miners sweated for "
After twenty minutes of that, our mutual contact will probably know it by
heart. On a more serious note, we come to the matter of cost.
As your bank has often pointed out, the ongoing drive for greater efficiency
comes at a cost. A cost which you have always been quick to pass on to me. Let
me repay your kindness by passing some costs back.
First, there is the matter of advertising material you send me. This I will
read for a fee of $ 2 0 per page. Inquiries from your nominated contact will be
billed at $ 5 per minute of my time spent in response. Any debits to my
account, as, for example, in the matter of the penalty for the dishonored
check, will be passed back to you.
My new phone service runs at 7 5 cents a minute ( even Woody Guthrie doesn't
come for free ), so you would be well advised to keep your inquiries brief and
to the point. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy
an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
Best Wishes,
Your humble client
Famous
Marketing Screw Ups
1. Coors put its slogan, "
Turn it loose, into Spanish where it was read as " Suffer from diarrhea.
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an
American campaign : Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
3. Clairol introduced the " Mist Stick ", a curling iron, into German
only to find out that " mist " is slang for manure. Not too many
people had use for the " manure stick.
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same
packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later
they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on
the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a
notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market
which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of " I saw the Pope " ( el
papa ), the shirts read " I saw the potato " ( la papa ).
7. Pepsi's " Come alive with the Pepsi Generation " translated into
" Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave ", in Chinese.
8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, " it takes a strong man to make a tender
chicken " was translated into Spanish as " it takes an aroused man to
make a chicken affectionate.
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as " Ke-kou-ke-la
", meaning " Bite the wax tadpole " or " female horse
stuffed with wax ", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 4 0, 0
0 characters to find a phonetic equivalent " ko-kou-ko-le ",
translating into " happiness in the mouth.
1 0. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read,
" it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you. Instead, the company
thought that the word " embarazar " ( to impregnate ) meant to
embarrass, so the ad read : " It won't leak in your pocket and make you
pregnant.
Drinking At
Work
Reasons for Allowing Drinking at
Work
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to
hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
1 0. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
1 1. It makes fellow employees look better.
1 2. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
1 3. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of
drinks
1 4. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Executive
Envelopes
Morris had just been hired as the
new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met
with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes.... 1, 2, 3.
" Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can
solve, the departing CEO said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a
downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end,
he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first
envelope. The message read, " Blame your predecessor.
Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at
the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press - - and
Wall Street - - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem
was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales,
combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous
experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read,
" Reorganize. This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on
difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the
third envelope.
The message said, " Prepare three envelopes.
Federal
Employee Evaluation
1. Works well only when under
constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
3. I would not allow this employee to breed.
4. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite
won't be.
5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever
foot was previously in there.
7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
9. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
1 0. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts the better.
1 1. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
1 2. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
1 3. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
1 4. A room temperature IQ.
1 5. Got a full 6 - pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
1 6. A gross ignoramus- 1 4 4 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
1 7. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
1 8. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
1 9. Bright as Alaska in December.
2 0. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
2 1. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
2 2. Fell out of the family tree.
2 3. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is going nowhere.
2 4. Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
2 5. He is so dense, light bends around him.
2 6. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
2 7. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
2 8. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
2 9. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
3 0. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1, 0 0, 0 0 other sperm.
3 1. One neuron short of a synapse.
3 2. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
3 3. Takes him 1 1 / 2 hours to watch the 6 0 minutes program.
3 4. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
3 5. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
YOU KNOW YOU
WORK IN CORPORATE AMERICA IF ...
You sat at the same
desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies
Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro
Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket
Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um
You order your business cards in " half orders " instead of whole
boxes
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie
You get really excited about a 2 % pay raise
You learn about your layoff on CNN
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet
Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third
World countries' annual budgets combined
You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive
It's dark when you drive to and from work
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else
Communication is something your group is having problems with
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital
Art involves a white board
You're already late on the assignment you just got
You work 2 0 0 hours for the $ 1 0 0 bonus check and jubilantly say " Oh
wow, thanks!
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your co-workers
Your boss' favorite lines are, " When you get a few minutes " or
" When you're freed up "
Your boss' second favorite lines are, "... this isn't exactly what we
need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed.
Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three
weeks between Christmas and New Years because otherwise you will lose it, or
you get a check for it every January
Your relatives and family describe your job as " works with computers
"
Change is the norm
The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures
are hanging in your cube
You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting
You read this entire list and understood it.
The Vacuum
Cleaner CEO
The CEO of a Vacuum Cleaner company
was impatient with the poor job his salespeople were doing, so one day he
decided to do the job himself.
He pulled up to an old house in his Mercedes Benz and knocked on the door. A
little old barefoot man wearing overalls answered the knock on the door, only
to be confronted by the very well dressed and dignified CEO in a $ 2, 0 0 navy
blue pin-striped business suit, a Hermes silk tie, a starched white shirt with
monogrammed cufflinks, $ 7 0 0 shoes polished like black mirrors, and carrying
a vacuum cleaner.
" Good morning, said the well-dressed and impeccably groomed CEO. "
If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the
very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.
" Get lost, Mister fancy suit! said the old man. " I haven't got any
money " and he proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the CEO wedged his polished shoe in the door and pushed it
wide open.
" Don't be too hasty! he said. " Not until you have at least seen my
demonstration.
The old man again told him to get lost. And with that, the CEO emptied a bucket
of mud all over his hallway carpet.
" If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this mess from your
carpet, sir, I will personally eat the remainder. I am the CEO! You have my
GUARANTEE!
" I got a better idea " said the old man, " If you don't clean
it all up, I'll swap those fancy clothes of yours fer my overalls. Your nice
suit, your tie, your shoes, everything!
" Fine, sir! said the CEO confidently. " I'll give you my clothes!
" Lemme ask you somethin', pal... Where are you goin' when you leave here?
The CEO answered very confidently : " To a VERY important conference! WHY?
" Will they let you in if yer barefoot? said the old man.
" Of course not! said the CEO.
" How much did you pay for those socks you'v got on? asked the old man.
" Fifty dollars " said the bewildered CEO.
" I ain't never worn fifty dollar socks before! said the old man. "
It will be kinda hard for you to wear overalls to work, I guess! said the old
man.
" WHAT?! said the confused CEO.
" And will you show how me to tie a necktie? said the old man...
One hour later, the door of the apartment opened, and the CEO carefully looked
out. Seeing that no one was around, his foot appeared.
A bare foot.
He stepped out into the hallway - dressed only in overalls and bare feet. His
expensive executive suit and tie had vanished, along with his confidence and
dignity.
The old man watched him run away to his car with a grin, admiring the expensive
pinstriped suit and silk tie he had just acquired. He then sat down and pulled
on the CEO's fifty dollar socks and gleaming shoes.
" Now I gotta see about payin' that electric bill...
The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
# 1 Once you have their money...
never give it back.
# 3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
# 6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
# 7 Keep your ears open.
# 8 Small print leads to large risk.
# 9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
# 1 0 Greed is eternal.
# 1 3 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
# 1 6 A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
# 1 8 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
# 1 9 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
# 2 1 Never place friendship above profit.
# 2 2 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
# 2 7 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.
# 3 1 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about
instead.
# 3 3 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
# 3 4 Peace is good for business.
# 3 5 War is good for business.
# 4 0 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
# 4 1 Profit is it's own reward.
# 4 4 Never confuse luck with wisdom.
# 4 7 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
# 4 8 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
# 5 2 Never ask when you can take.
# 5 7 Good customers are as rare as latinum - treasure them.
# 5 8 There is no substitute for success.
# 5 9 Free advice is seldom cheap.
# 6 0 Keep your lies consistent.
# 6 2 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
# 6 5 Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
# 7 5 Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum.
# 7 6 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your
enemies.
# 7 9 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
# 8 2 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
# 8 5 Never let the competition know what your thinking.
# 8 9 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what...
Texas Salesman
A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city
department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything
under the sun.
" Have you ever been a salesman before? the boss asked during his
interview.
" Yes, I was a salesman in Texas, the lad answered.
The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next
day. " I'll come and see how you made out after we close up, the boss
said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the
lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair. " How many sales did you
make today? the boss asked.
" One, said the lad.
" One? said the boss, obviously displeased. " Most of the sales
people on my staff make 2 0 or 3 0 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?
" Exactly $ 1 0 1, 3 4. 3, said the young man.
" How did you manage that? asked the boss, flabbergasted.
" Well, said the lad, " this man came in and I sold him a small fish
hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him
a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was
going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he'd probably
need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy
2 2 - foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably
wouldn't be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department
and sold him a new GMC 1 - ton pickup truck.
" You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook? the boss asked in
astonishment.
" He didn't come in to buy a fish hook, the Texas boy explained. " He came in to buy a
box of tampons for his wife, and I said to him, ' Your weekend's shot. You
might as well go fishing. "
How to sell
everything
One summer, on a Friday afternoon, a
young man was being trained by his supervisor on his first day as a salesperson
at a large department store. His supervisor was trying to show him the amount
of things he could sell to customers by making them feel they needed the items.
" Watch this, he said and approached a man who has just entered the store.
" May I help you, sir?
The man replied, " I just moved into my first house and I need some
fertiliser for my lawn.
So the supervisor said, " Well, we have five- and ten-pound bags of
fertiliser. I recommend you go with the ten pound bag.
" Why is that?
" The ten-pound bag will get you through most of the summer, but the
five-pound bag won't, the supervisor answered.
" Fine, the man agreed, " I'll take the ten-pounder. " Very good
sir. And would you like the stiff rake or the spring-rake with that?
" Rake? What do I need that for?
" Well sir, said the supervisor authoritatively, " if you don't rake
up the old dead grass before you spread the fertiliser, it won't all reach the
soil.
" All right then. I'll get the stiff rake.
" Very good sir. And would you like the fixed sprinkler or the oscillating
sprinkler with that?
The man started to get a bit steamed and asked harshly, " Sprinkler? Look,
I just came in here for some fertiliser. What do I need a sprinkler for?
Calmly, the supervisor responded, " Well sir, if you water your lawn
immediately after fertilising, the fertiliser will sink into the soil more
quickly and in no time at all, you'll have the greenest lawn in your
neighbourhood.
This sounded pretty good to the man so he picked up the fixed sprinkler. "
OK, then. I'll take all this.
" Very good sir. And would you like the electric or gas mower with that,
asked the supervisor.
Now the customer had about had it and he all but blew up at the supervisor.
" LAWNMOWER? Look, all I wanted when I came here was a bag of fertiliser.
You've already managed to sell me a rake and a sprinkler besides. Give me one
good reason why I should get a lawnmower, too!
Calm as ever, the supervisor said, " Well sir, if you get a lawnmower now,
then you'll be all ready to start trimming your beautiful green grass the
minute it starts getting too long. Your lawn will look like a golf course and
you'll be the envy of all your neighbours! Besides, they are on sale this week
only, and you're going to need it either way.
Well, the man figured that sounded OK and he really wanted to get out of there
before he bought anything else so at last he relented. " Fine. I'll get
the electric mower, but that's it!
" Very good sir. I'll ring that up for you.
After the man had left the store with all his new purchases, the supervisor
turned to the trainee and said, " So, do you think you could do that? The
trainee said that he thought he could and the supervisor directed him towards
another customer.
The trainee approached the puzzled-looking man and asked, " May I help you
sir?
The man replied, " Yes. I need some tampons for my wife. Well, the trainee
is totally thrown off by this request. He can't imagine what he could offer the
man to go along with that. However, he wanted to impress his boss so he thought
hard. Suddenly, he had it! " Very good sir. And would you like the
electric or gas mower with that?
" Mower? What the hell is wrong with you? I came in here looking for
tampons. Why the hell should I get a lawnmower, too?
" Well sir, the trainee answered, " I figure your weekend is shot, so
you might as well cut the grass.
Getting Out of Work
I won't be coming to work today
because :
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
1. If it's all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told
me to clean all the guns today.
2. On Saturday, I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other
half back an hour, I can never remember which it is-accordingly, I will be in
late or early.
3. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who
fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?
4. I'm stuck in the blood pressure machine at Walgreen's.
5. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how
about them Falcons, huh? So I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no,
I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
6. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to
work, knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
7. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw
restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
8. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian
Go to Work
Naked?
1. Your boss is always yelling,
" I wanna see your ass in here by 8 : 0 0!
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.
4. " I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.
5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
7. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add " Exotic Dancer
" to your exaggerated resume.
8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.
1 0. Gives " bad hair day " a whole new meaning.
1 1. No one steals your chair anymore
Government
Workers
Four men were bragging about how
smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an
Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, " T-square, do your stuff!.
T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly
drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do
better. He called his dog and said, " Slide Rule, do your stuff!. Slide
Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided
them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He
called his dog and said, " Measure, do your stuff!. Measure got up, walked
over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 1 0 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good. The three men turned to the Government Worker
and said, " What can your dog do?. The Government Worker called to his dog
and said, " Coffee Break, do your stuff!. Coffee Break jumped to his feet,
ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, sexually assaulted the
other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance
report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went
home on sick leave.
I Love My Job
I love my Job
I love my Job, I love the Pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my Boss; he's the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.
I love my Office and its location -
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
and the paper that piles up every day!
I love my chair in my padded Cell!
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my Peers -
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my Computer and all its Software;
I hug it often though it doesn't care...
I love each Program and every File,
I try to understand once in a while!!
I'm happy to be here, I am I am;
I'm the happiest Slave of my uncle Sam.
I love this Work : I love these Chores.
I love the Meetings with deadly Bores.
I love my Job - I'll say it again -
I even love these friendly Men -
These men who've come to visit today
in lovely white coats to take me away
