Why people I Like Retirement !!!

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? 
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? 
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to move in.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. 

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. 

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs 
and have fun finding them.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I
got my leotards on,
the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughtersan visit me twice a week'

It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the
difference.

Always Remember This: 
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, 
You grow old because you stop laughing

ONCE MORE BUSINESS ADVICES

 Old programmers never die, they just abend.

On a beautiful day like this, it's hard to believe anybody can be unhappy; but we will work on it.

On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.

One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.

One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.

One of those days? I have one of those lives.

One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.

Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.

Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.

Only a mediocre person is always at their best.

Only them as knows their own...knows.

Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible.

One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.

Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.

There is one big difference between genius and stupidity; genius has limits.

Things are more like today than they ever were before.

Things could be worse; suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.

Things get worse under pressure.

Things go right so they can go wrnog.

Thinking is hard work. One can't bear burdens and ideas at the same time.

This "law" has been intentionally left blank.

This "law" was inadvertently left blank.

This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists and not enough hunchbacks.

This space for rent.

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Those with the best advice offer no advice.

To achieve the impossible, one must think the absurd; to look where everyone else has looked, but to see what no one else has seen.

To attract maximum attention, it's hard to beat a good, big, dumb mistake.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

To err is human. To admit it is a blunder.

To err is human. To blame it on someone else is even more human.

To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.

To err is human. To forgive is simply not company policy.

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work.

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.

Trust everybody...then cut the cards.

Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Two heads are more numerous than one

Two monologues do not make a dialogue.

Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.

Unless absolutely essential, borrowing to buy a depreciating asset is dumb.

Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal.

Urgency varies inversely with importance.

Usefulness is inversely proportional to its reputation for being useful.

Virtue is its own punishment.

Wasting time is an important part of living.

We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. - C.S. Lewis

We are often most in the dark when we are the most certain, and most enligthened when we are the most confused.

We don't have the time or money to do it right, but we'll have time and money to do it over again.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

We sometimes get all the information, but we refuse to get the message.

We'll worry about that when we get there.

We're making progress. Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

We've always done it that way!

Wet manure is slippery. - OSHA discovery

When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.

When in doubt, use brute force.

When in trouble, delegate.

When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.

When it's you against the world, bet on the world.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.

 

An old occupation

|What happens when people of different occupations get old.

- Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

- Old actors never die, they just drop apart.

- Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.

- Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.

- Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.

- Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.

- Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.

- Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.

- Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.

- Old cashiers never die, they just check out.

- Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.

- Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.

- Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.

- Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.

- Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.

- Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.

- Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.

- Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.

- Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.

- Old garagemen never die, they just retire.

- Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.

- Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.

- Old hippies never die, they just smell that way.

- Old horticulturists never die, they just go to pot.

- Old hypochondriacs never die, they just lose their grippe.

- Old investors never die, they just roll over.

- Old journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.

- Old knights in chain mail never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils.

- Old laser physicists never die, they just become incoherent.

- Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.

- Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under.

- Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.

- Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.

- Old ministers never die, they just get put out to pastor...

- Old musicians never die, they just get played out.

- Old number theorists never die, they just get past their prime.

- Old numerical analysts never die, they just get disarrayed.

- Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.

- Old pacifists never die, they just go to peaces.

- Old perfessers never die, they just lose their class.

- Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

- Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.

- Old policemen never die, they just cop out.

- Old preachers never die, they just ramble on, and on, and on, and on....

- Old printers never die, they're just not the type.

- Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.

- Old programming wizards never die, they just recurse.

- Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.

- Old schools never die, they just lose their principals.

- Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles.

- Old seers never die, they just lose their vision.

- Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.

- Old skateboarders never die, they just lose their bearings.

- Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.

- Old Soldiers never die. Young ones do.

- Old steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.

- Old students never die, they just get degraded.

- Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.

- Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.

- Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation.

- Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.

- Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.

An old man

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY , CA . It was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri.

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man...

What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!


Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.

Getting older

Getting older

THE OLDER CROWD

A distraught senior citizen

Phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken
For the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
Before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'

***********************

An older gentleman was
On the operating table
Awaiting surgery
And he insisted that his son,
A renowned surgeon,
Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
He asked to speak to his son
'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son;
Do your best
And just remember,
If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me,
Your mother
Is going to come and
Live with you and your wife....'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
When you stop lying about your age
And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love

to hear them say "you don't look that old."
*****************

The older we get,
The fewer things
Seem worth waiting in line for.

*******************

Some people
Try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
And some of the roads weren't paved.

********************
When you are dissatisfied
And would like to go back to youth,
Think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are getting old when
Everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------

One of the many things
No one tells you about aging
Is that it is such a nice change
From being young.
----------------------------------------------

.Ah, being young is beautiful,
But being old is comfortable.
----------------------------------------------------------
First you forget names,
Then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
You forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------

Long ago
When men cursed
And beat the ground with sticks,
It was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two guys one old one young
Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
When they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
And I guess I wasn't paying attention
To where I was going.

The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...'
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'
The old guy says, 'Well,
Maybe I can help you find her..
What does she look like?'
' The young guy says,
'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
With red hair,
Blue eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra,
Long legs,
And is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'

*********************

(And this final one especially for me,)
Lord,
Keep Your arm around my shoulder,
And, Your hand over my mouth!

7% Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read atleast once a week!!!!! Make sure you readto the end!!!!!!



"To celebrate growing older, I once wrotethe 45 lessons life taught me. It is the mostrequested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.

Your friends and family will.

5. Don't buy stuff you don't need.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. There is no time like the present!

The past can't be changed, and who knows what the future will bring!

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutterweighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy. But its all up toyou and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear thefancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but dont forget. 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not becauseof anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saweveryone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you alreadyhave not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of
the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

How do you know when you're getting older

• "I just can't drink the way I used to", replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again".
• 06:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

• 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
• A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
• A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm.
• About half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief".
• All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
• All your favorite music is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.
• An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!
• At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

 

• Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
• Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
• Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
• Getting a little action means you don't need to take a laxative.
• Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
• Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho's
• Happy hour is a nap.
• Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
• It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired
• It takes twice as long to look half as good.
• It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
• It's tougher to lose weight, because over time your body and your fat are really good friends.
• Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
• Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

• MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
• Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
• One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
• People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
• Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
• The candles cost more than the cake.
• The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
• The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... have come back in style.
• The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
• The girls at the office start confiding in you.
• The highway patrol sigh or shake their heads but don't give you a ticket.
• The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
• The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
• The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now,
a year from now. 
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken

a dish or two, his food wa s served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old wa tched it all in silence.. 
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work...

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word wa s spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some

reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork wa s dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the wa y he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes. 
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you

can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about .I just did. FRIENDSHIP CANDLE NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED.
GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS. 
I am not going to be the one who lets it die.. I found it believable -- angels have wa lked beside me all my life—and

they still do ********************* This is to all of you who mean something to me, I pray for your happiness.

The Candle Of Love, Hope &

Friendship 

This candle wa s lit on the
15th of September, 1998

Someone who loves you has helped keep it alive by sending it to you. Don't let The Candle of Love, Hope and Friendship die Pass It On To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love! 

THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD (PART 2)

·        My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

·        The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

·        I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. 

·        ·  I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

·       ·   I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

·        ·  I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

·    ·  The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

·        If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

·        And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

·        You could run these walking jokes over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

• Ageing: eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
• The easiest way to find something that's lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you?
• A penny saved is a government oversight.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

• He who hesitates is almost certainly right.
• Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
• There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt..
• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
• Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD (PART 1)

·        Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

·        In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

·        No one expects you to run into a burning building.

·        People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

·        People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

·        There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

·        Things you buy now won't wear out.

·        You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

·        You can live without sex but not without glasses.

·        You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

·        You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

·        You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.

·        You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

·        You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

·        You sing along with elevator music. 

·       ·  Your eyes won't get much worse.

·        · Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

·        · Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

·        Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

·        Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

·        You can't remember who sent you this list.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.  Friedrich Nietzsche