Funny life quotes

 

 

7% Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read atleast once a week!!!!! Make sure you readto the end!!!!!!



"To celebrate growing older, I once wrotethe 45 lessons life taught me. It is the mostrequested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.

Your friends and family will.

5. Don't buy stuff you don't need.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. There is no time like the present!

The past can't be changed, and who knows what the future will bring!

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutterweighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy. But its all up toyou and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear thefancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but dont forget. 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not becauseof anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saweveryone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you alreadyhave not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of
the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.

How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

If shops are lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the

world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..

To enjoy YOUR life I've compiled FOR YOU TODAY SOME OF MY favorite LIFE RULES

THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD (PART 1)

·        Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

·        In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

·        No one expects you to run into a burning building.

·        People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

·        People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

·        There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

·        Things you buy now won't wear out.

·        You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

·        You can live without sex but not without glasses.

·        You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

·        You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

·        You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.

·        You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

·        You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

·        You sing along with elevator music. 

·       ·  Your eyes won't get much worse.

·        · Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

·        · Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

·        Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

·        Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

·        You can't remember who sent you this list.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.  Friedrich Nietzsche

Five decisions that usually go into the New Year

 

Unfortunately, it often happens that we promise something and we don’t do, so that  we always had in our minds we not to forget, it might be a good idea to save this.

 

 

 

 

 

GOOD MORNING - LESSONS TO LIVE BY

 We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we

are!

  

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Try everything twice.  On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this

epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends.   The grouches pull you down.  ( Keep this in

mind if you are one of those grouches)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,

whatever.  Never let the brain get idle.'  An idle mind is the devil's

workshop.'  And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.  Laugh until you gasp for breath.  And if you

have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on.  The only person who is

with us our entire life, is ourselves.  LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets,

keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.  Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it.  If it is unstable,

improve it.  If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.  Take a trip to the mall, or a trip to the next

county or a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.  I

love you, my special friend.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry.  You might not get a second chance.

But I hope you share it with someone.

Remember! Lost time can never be found.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of

battle