THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD (PART 1)

·        Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

·        In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

·        No one expects you to run into a burning building.

·        People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

·        People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

·        There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

·        Things you buy now won't wear out.

·        You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

·        You can live without sex but not without glasses.

·        You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

·        You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

·        You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.

·        You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

·        You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

·        You sing along with elevator music. 

·       ·  Your eyes won't get much worse.

·        · Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

·        · Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

·        Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

·        Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

·        You can't remember who sent you this list.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.  Friedrich Nietzsche