THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU GET OLD (PART 2)

·        My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

·        The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

·        I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. 

·        ·  I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

·       ·   I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

·        ·  I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

·    ·  The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

·        If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

·        And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

·        You could run these walking jokes over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

• Ageing: eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
• The easiest way to find something that's lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you?
• A penny saved is a government oversight.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

• He who hesitates is almost certainly right.
• Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
• There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt..
• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
• Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.