Easter Jokes
Three Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts
1.
What is the bunny trying to say when he is leaping
about? Hoppy Easter!
2.
Rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter
parade aren't called hot, cross bunnies for nothing.
3.
The Easter bunny's colourful eggs are now filled with
Prozac.
Sunday
School 1
Mrs Lewis,
a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they
were on the way to the church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?'
Rebecca, a
bright little girl piped up, 'Because people are sleeping?'
Sunday
School 2
It was
Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed home from
church with a baby-sitter. When the family returned home, they were
carrying several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for.
'People
held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,' his father told him.
'Wouldn't
you know it,' Bobby fumed, 'the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up.'
The Lion and the Missionary
A
Christian missionary, Jemima, was walking in Africa on Easter Saturday
when she heard the ominous padding of a lion behind her.
'Oh Lord,'
prayed Jemima, the missionary, 'Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking
behind me is a good Christian lion.'
And then,
in the silence that followed, Jemima heard the lion praying too, 'Oh Lord,' he
prayed, 'I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive this Easter
time.'
How Different Religions Cope with Adversity
When the
Methodist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'That
was an experience, how do I learn from it?'
When the
Catholic priest falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'I must
have done something really bad to deserve that.'
When the
Presbyterian minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says,
'That was inevitable, I'm glad it's over.'
When the
Baptist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'Which
one of my deacons pushed me?'
Divine Intervention?
One Easter
afternoon Jasper, a little boy, was playing outdoors. He used his mother's
broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.
He left
the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she
realized that her broom was missing. She asked Jasper about the broom and he
told her where it was.
She then
asked him to please go get it. Jasper informed his mother that he was
afraid of the dark and didn't want to go out to get the broom.
His mother
smiled and said, 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid.'
Jasper
then opened the back door a little and said, 'Lord, since you're out there,
please pass me the broom.'
Egg Laying Ceremony for Easter Sunday
- Church notices: This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Cusworth to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
- This Monday we will be holding a 'Bean Supper' in the church hall. Music will follow..................
- What do you call a
chocolate bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
