Easter Jokes

Three Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts

1.     What is the bunny trying to say when he is leaping about?  Hoppy Easter!

2.     Rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade aren't called hot, cross bunnies for nothing.

3.     The Easter bunny's colourful eggs are now filled with Prozac. 

 

Sunday School 1

Mrs Lewis, a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'

Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, 'Because people are sleeping?' 

Sunday School 2

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed home from church with a baby-sitter.  When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for.

'People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,' his father told him.

'Wouldn't you know it,' Bobby fumed, 'the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up.' 

 The Lion and the Missionary

A Christian missionary, Jemima, was walking in Africa on Easter Saturday when she heard the ominous padding of a lion behind her.

'Oh Lord,' prayed Jemima, the missionary, 'Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.'

And then, in the silence that followed, Jemima heard the lion praying too, 'Oh Lord,' he prayed, 'I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive this Easter time.'

How Different Religions Cope with Adversity

 

When the Methodist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'That was an experience, how do I learn from it?'

When the Catholic priest falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'I must have done something really bad to deserve that.'

When the Presbyterian minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'That was inevitable, I'm glad it's over.'

When the Baptist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, 'Which one of my deacons pushed me?'

Divine Intervention?

One Easter afternoon Jasper, a little boy, was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.

He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked Jasper about the broom and he told her where it was.

She then asked him to please go get it.  Jasper informed his mother that he was afraid of the dark and didn't want to go out to get the broom.

His mother smiled and said, 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid.'

Jasper then opened the back door a little and said, 'Lord, since you're out there, please pass me the broom.'

Egg Laying Ceremony for Easter Sunday

• Church notices:  This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Cusworth to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
• This Monday we will be holding a 'Bean Supper' in the church hall.  Music will follow..................
• What do you call a chocolate bunny that was out in the sun too long?
  A runny bunny.