Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands

Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did
a leprechaun crap in it? 

FRANCE
Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren’t the French just Germans
who can make sauces?

ITALY
Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for
a can of Spaghetti-O’s!  

POLAND
Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs? 

GERMANY
Is this bratwurst kosher? 

TURKEY
Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds? 

KOREA
Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?

CHINA
This wall isn’t so great. 

ENGLAND
Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?

SWEDEN
Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?

YEMEN
Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean -- ‘Land Of
Fanatics And Dust' ? 

INDIA
You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?

ETHIOPIA
After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son! 

CANADA
You’re like Americans without money. 

SPAIN
So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if
they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos? 

SOUTH AFRICA
I liked it better the other way. 

MEXICO
What's that smell? 

SAUDI ARABIA
Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat
your wives here, or what?

RUSSIA
Is it always this cold and economically devastated?

UZBEKISTAN
Can you spell Uzbekistan?

GREECE
I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."

AFGHANISTAN
Seriously, where is the real country where is everything? 

JAPAN
What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi? 

AUSTRALIA
How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?

AMERICA
Was John Wayne gay?

50 Useful Insults

1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?

2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.

4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.

6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.

10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.

11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

12. You should need a license to be that ugly.

13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.

15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.

16. You have the IQ of lint.

17. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 

18. You are living proof that man can live without a brain.

19. People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

20. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

21. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

22. I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.

23. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame.

24. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be.

25. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

26. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

27. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.

28. If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

29. If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.

30. If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself.

31. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

32. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in theway of your ignorance.


33. It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.

34. I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you are.

35. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.

36. Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.

37. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

38. People can't say that you have absolutely nothing. After all, you have inferiority!

39. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

40. Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.

41. The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.

42. We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough
.
43. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.

44. When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.

45. When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.

46. When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!

47. You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.

48. You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.

49. You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.

50. Aren't you the poster child for birth control?