FEELING YOUNG AGAIN
Two 80 year old men
are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the
statement: "It makes you feel young again."
John looks at Sylvester and says, "We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!"
Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive.
About one mile later Sylvester asks, "Well John, do you feel young yet?"
"No," replies John.
So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and continue to drive down the road.
A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, "John, do you feel younger?"
"No," replies John, "but I sure did a childish thing!"
John looks at Sylvester and says, "We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!"
Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive.
About one mile later Sylvester asks, "Well John, do you feel young yet?"
"No," replies John.
So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and continue to drive down the road.
A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, "John, do you feel younger?"
"No," replies John, "but I sure did a childish thing!"
24
Hours to Live.
After dozens of
very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he
had only 24 hours to live.
He immediately called his doctor and his lawyer to his room. He asked the doctor to stand by one side of his bed and his lawyer to stand by the other.
After standing for some time, the doctor asked "What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. Just stand there."
A while later, the lawyer asked "What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. Just stand there."
As the hours wore on, the doctor and the lawyer watched the man weaken. When his time had almost arrived, the doctor and the lawyer again asked "Why are we standing here?"
"Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought I'd do the same!
He immediately called his doctor and his lawyer to his room. He asked the doctor to stand by one side of his bed and his lawyer to stand by the other.
After standing for some time, the doctor asked "What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. Just stand there."
A while later, the lawyer asked "What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. Just stand there."
As the hours wore on, the doctor and the lawyer watched the man weaken. When his time had almost arrived, the doctor and the lawyer again asked "Why are we standing here?"
"Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought I'd do the same!
The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans
1. BadAir: When you
just can't wait for the world to come to you.
2. BadAir: We're
Amtrak with wings.
3. Join our
frequent near-miss program.
4. On flights,
every section is a smoking section.
5. Ask about our
out-of-court settlements.
6. Our staff has
had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin.
7. Are our jet
engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off.
8. Complimentary
champagne during free-fall.
9. Enjoy the
in-flight movie in the plane next to you.
10. The kids will
love our inflatable slides.
11. If you think
it's so easy, get your own plane!
12. Which will fall
faster, our stock price or our planes?
13. Our pilots are
all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.
14. BadAir: We may
be landing on your street.
15. BadAir:
Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.
16. Bring a bathing
suit.
17. Some airlines
are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as
possible for the best view.
18. That guy who
crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots.
19. Fly BadAir and
enjoy a free two-week hospital stay on us.2
0. BadAir: A real
man lands where he wants to.
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