Funny Easter

• ·        "My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper."  Amy Sedaris
• ·        "I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines."  Fred Allen
• ·    "A strangely reflective, even melancholy day. Is that because, unlike our cousins in the northern hemisphere, Easter is not associated with the energy and vitality of spring but with the more subdued spirit of autumn."  Hugh Mackay
• ·        "Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there."  Clarence W. Hall
• ·        "There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE."  Linda Grayson, "The Pickwick Papers"
• ·       "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!"  Lucy Van Pelt, "Peanuts"
• ·        Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter Sunday.
• Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs at Thanksgiving.

• If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
• Diet tip: Eat an Easter egg before each meal.
  It'll take the edge off your appetite, and that way you'll eat less.
• If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
• If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
• Money talks. Chocolate sings.
• Chocolate has many preservatives.  Preservatives make you look younger.
• The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate eggs home from the store in a hot car.
  The solution: Eat the eggs in the car park.
• Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
  Because no one wants to quit.