Easter in General

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.   S.D. Gordon

He who wants Lent to seem short should contract a debt to be repaid at Easter.  Italian Proverb

Easter tells us that life is to be interpreted not simply in terms of things but in terms of ideals.  Charles M. Crowe

Easter, so longed for, is gone in a day.  James Howell

Easter Bunny's Funnies

Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.

Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!

Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.

Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.

Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A: A slam duck.

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like anyone else on the team.

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny

Q: What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.

Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.

 

Reasons to Celebrate Easter

1. You decide that any Holiday which starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
2. You look really, really good in yellow.
3. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.
4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
5. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".

thoughts of animals

strange but it’s true

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.*Politics is a murky business, even in Finland.  The truth was that back in the late 1970s Markku Hopopainen introduced an economy measure to reduce the spending on comics in Helsinki libraries.  It was mischief-makers who distorted the facts and claimed the action was because of Donald's lack of pants in the comic strip.

• In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
• Every person has a unique tongue print.
• Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
• 'Kemo Sabe' means 'soggy shrub' in Navajo.
• In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.
• Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.
• Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
• In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.
• About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.
• You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather.
• An average person laughs about 5 times a day.
• Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

• Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.

• The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
• A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 mph.
• The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.
• The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.
• A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.
• The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
• In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones - Bhutan.
• Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.
• Women's hearts beat faster than men's.
• Pollsters say that 40% of dog and cat owners carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.
• Bubble gum contains rubber.

• You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.

RIDDELS LAST WEEK

Two flocks of birds flying

A flock number 1, say to a flock number 2:

Give me a 1 bird so that we have the same number of birds, while a flock number 2 says:

No, you give me a 1 bird so that I have twice as much as you.

The question is: How many birds are in flock number 1, and how many in flock number 2.

ANSWER : 5 and 7

FOX??

Where the fox goes when she turns two years?

ANSWER: IN TO THEERD YEAR

Hunter and the birds

On one branch are 10 birds. Hunter shoots and kills one bird.

Question: How many birds are left on the branch?

ANSWER: NO ONE, THEY ALL FLEW AWAY

The problem of cooking

If it takes 20 minutes to cook hard duck egg, how many will take to cook four ducks eggs.

ANSWER 20 MINUTES

Joke for today

Who is the Father?

  A guy went up to his father saying:
  "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!"
  Father: That's great son. Who is it?
  Son: It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
  Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son,
  but you must promise not to tell your mother.. Sandra is actually your sister.
 
  The boy is naturally bummed out, but life goes on, and indeed, a couple of months later ...
  Son: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
  Father: That's great son. Who is it?
  Son: It's Angela, The other neighbour's daughter.
  Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.
 
  This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
 
 Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
 
 The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
 "My love, you can date whomever you want. He isn't your father".

Football game

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid theM.

The first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day,the second woman steps accidentally on a duck And along comes
St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a
Duck.