MORE WISDOM

 

With my grandmother was seriously ill in the hospital, I asked her if she'd given any thought about euthanasia. She said she didn't really care about Chinese teenagers right now.

Top Ten Reasons to Procrastinate:
1.

I say tomato you say tomato. Doesn't quite have the same effect online.

I had my house inspected by an expert interior decorator. She told me that the whole house was fine, apart from the room at the top of the house. I think it might be a little problem attic.

I need to find a new source of electricity. Not happy with my current supplier.

I dont really know much about computers, but my idea of a hard drive is an hour in the car with my wife.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on reverse psychology! The librarian says, "You don't want to read that".

Then I asked for a book on homeopathy and the librarian said there were a few pages here and there throughout the library.

You need to have eyes in the back of your head when you've got kids. In hindsight, I wish I'd never had any.

I'm seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania, and I have taken something valuable away from every session.

My shrink is helping with my fear of money. He's raising his rates.

I bought a treadmill today. It's giving me a run for my money.

I think men who lose their penis should be remembered.

Did you hear about the bird that was born without a beak? He was born to succeed.

I was messing around with my buddy at the pottery factory yesterday and we got locked in the kiln. The boss fired us both.

A friend of mine is known for going round to peoples houses and stealing pictures of them. It's a poor trait.

I got kicked out of aerobics class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

I went into the changing room several times, but it was still the same.

I came up with a way of getting coal out of the ground. Hope no one else thinks of the same idea - it's mine.

I complained to the city council that the street I live on has no name. They said they'll address it at the next board meeting.

My three unwritten rules :
1.
2.
3.

I've just been diagnosed with Sausagephobia. I fear the wurst.

Trust undertakers: They're the last people to let you down.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's still all fun and games, just without depth perception.

You know you're fat when you get on a rowing machine and it sinks.

I lost my wife to quicksand. Took a while to sink in.

Apparently animals make different sounds according to different languages. For example, in Korea a dog makes a sizzling noise.

Scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

If I ever got the chance to name a street, I'd call it 'Skin Road'. Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with his pencil.

My parents went to Southeast Asia and all I got was this Laosy t-shirt.

The bra section. The only place in the world where you fail if you get an A.

90% of communication is done through body language. Which is why its really easy to lie to blind people.

What's longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage? Justin Bieber's chest hair.

My ex-wife and I settled our divorce in a very fair way and divided the house in two. She got the inside, I got the outside.

Some people say that dolphins are the most well adapted animal, but they can't hold a candle to us humans. No thumbs.

Christians believe that the Virgin Mary was somehow taken into heaven by God without actually dying. That's the Assumption, anyway.

My wife said she will write "Lazy Ass" on my headstone. Over my dead body!

I'm a big fan of Sarah Palin. Sorry, parasailing.

I'm as confused as a dyslexic man trying to sing 'Respect'!

I just had a boxing match with a Star Wars character. I won, Han's down.

No one ever disappears into fat air.

I invented a time machine but it only takes you back in time. The guy in the patents office couldn't see any future in it.

People call me an alcoholic but I only consume alcohol twice a year! When it's my birthday and when it's not my birthday.

How many squares are there on a chess board? Usually two, facing each other.

I was perfectly happy in Mississippi, then Mr. Sippi came back early from a business trip.

I helped a small child out just so I could get a better look at his mom. Thankfully she never realized I wasn't the midwife.

Imagine a world without made up scenarios.

My ice business got liquidated due to a power outage.

I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution - 1024x768.

When someone prays for a flood to stop, they're basically saying, "God, dam it."

I've been meaning to pay my gas and electricity bill. But I just don't have the energy.

I've had my application rejected for a job with NASA. There was no space for me.

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.

A man walks into a brothel and asks, "Is that Hortense over there?" The Madam replies, "She looks perfectly relaxed to me."

I came home from work last night to find a police officer rooting through my CD rack. Turns out we'd been burgled and he was just looking for Prince.

Jesus died for our sins, so if we don't sin, he died for nothing.

According to North Korean press, Kim Jong Il has entered a sleeping contest.

I can see into the future, but only good things. I'm an optimystic.

By and large, the women involved in online dating are bi, and large.

My TV screen went black today. I can't get it to go back.

If your horse goes too fast, you mustang on.

I went to the furniture store and was browsing about for a while. A woman then came up and said, "What is it you are looking for?" I said, "One night stand." She called security.

My best friend's really easy going. He has irritable bowels.

Some people will never change. Like a nun, same clothes everyday.

I will never forget my childhood summers, when we would climb into old tires and roll down the hills. They were goodyears.

Who here knows how to perform with sock puppets? Can I have a show of hands?

Whenever I go out sightseeing I like to take a few pictures. Yesterday I got a Picasso.

I'm about to launch an online taxi firm. I just need to download the drivers.

Wearing glasses makes me look better.

There was a programmer in our workplace that got employee of the month and got promoted. He got arrays.

Can Napoleon return to his place of birth? Of Corsican.

It's a well known fact that Adolf Hitler loved dogs and other animals. He was, after all, a veteran Aryan.

My wife went through the roof when she stumbled upon my secret explosives collection in the attic.

People who have no index fingers are pointless.

My wife is thinking about getting a flu shot but I refused to give her advice. I just didn't want to influenza decision.

Took me 2 hours to grill a chicken yesterday but still couldn't get it to tell me why it crossed the road.

Every house needs a door, and that's where I come in.

I've just received a doctors appointment regarding my constipation. Unfortunately I can't go.

I decided to be more considerate of my neighbors. In fact, I went over and knocked on their door and told them at 4 o'clock this morning.

So we were seeing who's laptop could burn a disc the fastest. It was a discrace.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

I've come up with an idea for a spray that clears the air of all smells. I went to the patent office and the guy said; "This is madness!" "No." I said. "This is Non-Scents."

I pretend there are bits floating in my orange juice. Pulp Fiction.

I just got thrown out of our local hospital for misusing a breast-scanning unit. Or Binoculars, as the Security Guard insisted on calling them.

If that kid next door doesn't stop playing the drums, there will be serious repercussions.

The wife kept saying the same thing over and over again. Turns out it was just a phrase she was going through.

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

For his 70th Birthday treat, Stephen Hawking's caregiver arranged for him to go out on a date, when he returned later that evening he was all covered in cuts and bruises, his caretaker asked him, "what the hell happened?" He replied, "She stood me up!"

A new survey shows that a fifth of American men have no idea how to turn on the washing machine. I find chocolates or flowers usually do the trick.

I think I had something at lunchtime that disagreed with me. In fact I know I did - I was having dinner with my wife and her mother.

I'd hate to be the Captain of the Costa Concordia. He is in deep water. Which paradoxically, where he should have been in the first place.

I really wanted to re-marry the woman I divorced years ago, but she said I was only after my money.

How do you tell if someone owns an Apple product? Just wait, they will tell you.

I just called the S&M hotline but no one answered. They're probably all tied up.

My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.

I was walking down the street the other day, and a guy called me over to him. When I got there he said "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." I said, "I was."

I've been studying abroad for two years now. She still doesn't know.

Someone stole my coffee cup from work on Friday. Just heading down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.

What's the difference between a rocker and a jazz man? A rocker plays 3 chords in front of 3,000 people, and a jazz man plays 3,000 chords in front of 3 people.

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

Even though I needed to use the bathroom I decided to try to hold it in so I could stay at the track to watch the last horse race. Number two won.

I went to the Natural History Museum and saw the two bees that Noah supposedly took with him. They were in the archives.

When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left $400,000 under the..."

I just looked up the word "indescribable" - ironically it's a describing word.

I've penned a few great novels in my time. I think that's why I'm not allowed in the library any more.

The local town executioner has had his basket stolen. Heads are going to roll!

I'm so much better at starting things than finishing them. That said,

Health Related True Facts

Absolutely True!

The safest number of times to reuse a disposable razor is only 3. Disposable razors have thinner blades than other razors, and are thus more prone to producing microscopic cuts in the skin. The longer you keep using a disposable razor, the more germs it will collect, and the greater the chance that a nick will become infected.

When you walk uphill, the level of harmful fats in the bloodstream goes down. When you walk downhill, blood sugar levels are reduced. Alter your patterns of exercise depending on your health needs!

90% of the calories in cream cheese come from fat! It's the most fattening cheese.

Make sure your television set is securely supported if you have young children in your house. At least 28 kids were killed by toppling television sets in 1997.

If you have an impaired immune system, don't eat alfalfa sprouts. Some sprouts have caused outbreaks of E. Coli and salmonella!

Coffee does not increase the risk of heart attacks. A recent study showed that even 4 or more cups daily didn't increase heart attack risk.

Sweet potatoes contain no more calories than white potatoes, and virtually no fat.

As people age, they burn fewer calories. This often results in increased body fat and loss of muscle. All it takes, however, is a brisk 2 mile walk daily to balance energy intake and energy needs.

If you have symptoms of a heart attack, such as chest pain, chew and swallow one adult aspirin tablet (325 mg) immediately, while you seek medical help. If you have only baby aspirin at home, chew four of them.

The number one vegetable in the US is the potato. Per capita consumption is 84 pounds each year! One third of those end up as french fries. 5% are in the form of potato chips.

Knuckle cracking does NOT cause arthritis, enlarged joints or any other harm. It's just irritating to some people.

Many studies show that married people tend to be healthier than unmarried ones. One theory is that being married encourages healthy behavior, such as wearing seat belts, being physically active and having blood pressure checked.

Watch out for cars turning left at traffic lights! A high proportion of accidents (with other cars or pedestrians) involve a left-turning vehicle!

If you order a shake at a fast food restaurant, the good news is: a 16 ounce shake provides about 400 mg of calcium. The bad news: it also supplies about 400 to 600 calories and at least 9 grams of fat!

Measure your waist to find out if you are at risk for weight-related health problems. For women, a waist measurement of 34 1/2 inches signals a serious risk. For men, the cutoff point is 40 inches.

Watch out! Grapefruit juice can greatly boost the concentration of certain drugs in the bloodstream. These include some popular cholesterol-lowering drugs, calcium channel-blockers, tranquilizers and some antihistamines.

If you drive with a small child in your car, make sure you use the child safety seat properly! Only about 60% of children age 4 or younger ride in such seats! In addition, 80% of these safety seats are improperly used.

Per-capita Mozzarella cheese consumption has risen five-fold since 1972. Mozzarella is the second most popular cheese, next to cheddar.

Walkers and hikers who apply an aluminum-containing antiperspirant to their feet daily for at least three days before a long hike can reduce the risk of blisters!

If you take more than 500 mg of calcium supplements daily, take half later in the day. The body absorbs smaller amounts of calcium much more efficiently than large doses. Taking the calcium with meals also improves absorption.

Moderate exercise may reduce the risk of gallstone attacks by 20 to 40%! People who watch more than 40 hours of TV per week have double the risk of gallstone symptoms compared to those watching little TV.

Disinfect your loofah sponge occasionally with diluted bleach. Sponges like this can become contaminated with bacteria that can cause skin irritation.

High-fiber foods are recommended on weight-loss diets because they're filling and nutritious. In addition, boosting your fiber intake reduces the number of calories your body absorbs from the food you eat!

If all adult American smokers had quit five years ago, there would have been an estimated 15% fewer overall deaths in the United States since then, according to a study from Rutgers University.

An easy way to tell about your sun protection in the summer: if your shadow is shorter than your height, it's sunburn time. In most parts of the country, that's between 10 am and 4 pm.

If a lightning storm occurs, you are safe in a car with a solid metal top with the windows and doors shut, as long as you aren't touching a metal part of the car! A bad place to stand is right outside the car during the storm. Never stand under a lone tree in a lightning storm. A forest is safer.

Don't let the fact that you are using a tanning lotion give you a false sense of security in the sun. You need a sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of at least 15 in the summer for adequate protection.

A 1992 study found that men are much less likely to discover skin lesions than women, which may help explain why men are more likely to die from this dangerous type of skin cancer. Men should make a special effort to examine their skin, especially on their backs, for signs of melanoma.

Don't assume that darker sunglasses block more ultraviolet (UV) rays. A dark tint is desirable because it blocks more visible light, but the color in no guarantee to UV protection.

It is important to have an advance directive (including a living will) in case of medical emergency. It's also important to make sure it is accessible to your doctor and at least one close relative.

Be careful when using bungee cords this summer; elastic cords with metal hooks at each end. These cords can easily snap and hit you in the eye, causing serious injury.

Vitamin C and E pills may protect against sunburn and thus possibly reduce the risk of skin cancer. But it does not replace a good sunscreen.

If you take chewable Vitamin C tablets, make sure you brush your teeth afterwards, or at least rinse your mouth out. The tablets make your mouth acidic enough to start dissolving tooth enamel.

Don't expect pounds shed in a commercial weight loss program to stay off - they almost always come back. The strongest predictor of maintaining weight loss is regular exercise. The best predictor of weight regain: frequent television viewing!

Nasal dilators, those tape strips along the bridge of your nose (you often see athletes wearing these) will not boost your athletic performance. There's no scientific evidence that these strips help people play longer, better or harder.

Women trying to conceive improve their chances if they give up alcohol. In one study, women who had consumed only one to five drinks a week were 60% as likely to conceive as non-drinkers. At more than 10 drinks per week, the chances fell to 34%!

More than 500,000 Americans are injured and 300 die each year while using ladders. Keep in mind the 4-and-1 rule; for every 4 feet the ladder rises up the wall, the base of the ladder should extend 1 foot from the wall!

Licking a wound actually does promote healing. Saliva helps disinfect wounds and kills bacteria.

What you do during the first few hours after you've sprained your ankle or pulled a muscle can determine whether you're back to your normal routine quickly or still hobbling a week later. The key is ICE, applied as soon as possible.

It may be impossible for many people to attain a flat stomach. Even if you're very thin, your internal organs are inside your abdomen. The flatness of your stomach in many cases depends on your genes.

Remove the skin from chicken if you're counting fat calories. If you don't eat the skin, you can reduce the fat content of a chicken breast by 3/4, and it's half the calories. By the way, dark meat without the skin still has 2 to 3 times as much fat as a skinless chicken breast.

Even though the average life expectancy in Japan, France and other countries is longer than the United States, if you reach age 80, statistically you have a greater chance of living longer in the United States.

If you buy tofu, only buy commercially sealed packages. Tofu (soybean curd) is often sold floating in open, unrefrigerated trays of water, which invite bacteria to grow and puts you at risk for gastrointestinal illness.

A tight tie can affect a glaucoma exam; if you're having your eyes checked, you shouldn't wear a tie all day.

Don't use home tooth-bleaching kits. These contain ingredients that can injure gums and other soft tissue of the mouth. They also can make you sick if you swallow them.

To minimize crying while slicing onions, put a piece of bread in your mouth! This may absorb some of the fumes.

Smoking does NOT keep people thin, according to a study of 4,000 people ages 18 to 30. Weight gain was common (averaging 2 pounds per year), whether the person smokes or not!

20% of airline passengers catch a cold after a two-hour flight.

Do you know why eyes often turn red in a photograph? Blood. Really. The little black dot in the middle of your eye is not black. It’s clear, it only looks black because there’s no light coming from behind it for illumination. However, when a flash goes off, the light enters the eye and reflects off of what it finds. It finds blood vessels, blood is red, and that’s what reflects.

To test how much fat is in a cracker, rub it over a paper napkin. If the cracker leaves a grease mark, there's lots of oil in it. Even if the cracker contains unsaturated vegetable oil, you don't need that extra fat!

Swimming is a great fitness activity. One reason is the water cools the body very efficiently, allowing for more exercise and less fatigue.

Alcohol can be a double whammy for hip fractures in older people; not only does excessive drinking increase the risk of falls, but it also decreases bone density.

If you're taking a daily low-dose aspirin for heart protection, you should take a full-sized 325mg aspirin twice a month. This additional dose further reduces the risk of clots.

The incidence of Type 2 diabetes (the most common form of diabetes) has increased dramatically over the last ten years. This increase is due to the fact that Americans are living longer, are getting fatter and are less physically active.

Caregivers who take care of a spouse for long hours have an increased risk of heart disease. The emotional strain (as well as potential financial strain) often makes caregivers take less time to look after their own health.

It's estimated that 10 to 15 million Americans are allergic to cockroaches. Skin irritation, hay fever symptoms, or asthma are some of the problems associated with cockroach allergy.

Aspartame has been studied more than any other food additive. 

Women have a keener sense of smell than men do, and it's particularly acute at the time of ovulation.

If you occasionally feel faint when standing up, try raising your arms over your head before you get up.

Only half of Americans with hypertension (high blood pressure) are being treated for it, and only half of those being treated have it under control. Nearly one third of those with high blood pressure don't even know they have it!

Second hand smoke is dangerous to people, but also to your pets. Cats and dogs are more likely to suffer from lung cancer and lymphoma if their owners smoke.

Most people cannot tell if and when they have bad breath unless someone tells them. If you often have bad breath, brush your tongue, especially if it looks coated. Be sure to brush the back of the tongue.

American men who turn 65 this year can expect to live another 16 years. Women, another 19 years.

Locally baked muffins, brownies and cookies almost always weigh more than their labels say, often 20% more! This may account for the often substantial underestimation of calories on the labels.

Brown eggs are not more nutritious than white eggs. The color of the egg shell is nothing more than indication of the breed from which it came.

A woman who starts smoking increases her risk of a heart attack twice as much as a man who starts. Woman have a lower risk of heart attack than men, especially in middle age, but smoking narrows this gender gap.

Chocolate may be a more effective cough remedy than cough medicine, according to a study at Imperial College London.

Though it has lots of calcium, yogurt contains no vitamin D. Milk is fortified with D, and is the major dietary source of it, but the milk that yogurt is made from isn't fortified. Vitamin D helps the body utilize calcium and build bone.

Skinless duck breast has less fat than skinless chicken breast, ounce for ounce.

Eat a potato with its skin - but pare away any green areas, trim visible blemishes and gouge out any sprouts. A potato's skin contains most of its iron, calcium and fiber. Ounce for ounce, the skin is the most nutritous part! The greenish hue on a potato is chlorophyll, a tip-off that too much solanine may be present. Solanine is bitter, and can produce headache, cramps and diarrhea if eaten in large quantities. Potato sprouts also contain lots of solanine, so avoid them.

To choose the best oranges, make sure it feels heavy for its size. That usually means more juice and more flavor.

Eating fruits and vegetables rich in antioxidants (such as vitamins C, E and beta carotene) may keep lungs healthy and thus reduces the risk of asthma, emphysema, and chronic bronchitis. This benefit is less for smokers.

Ounce for ounce, green peppers have three times more Vitamin C than oranges.

American MALE drivers are three times more likely to be killed in a car crash, but American FEMALE drivers are slightly more likely to be in a crash on a per-mile basis. Generally, men drive faster and take more risks, which may account for the average severity of crashes.

Corn, tomatoes and carrots actually have more nutrients after being canned than when raw.

Caffeine boosts the analgesic effect of aspirin or ibuprofen (Motrin). That's why it is added to some products (like Excedrin). But you can simply take a pain reliever with a caffeinated beverage such as coffee, tea or cola to get the same effect!

Both green and black tea have enough flouride to fight tooth decay. Some studies show that tea, if you drink it daily over a lifetime, may also prevent heart disease and cancer.

MORE TRUE FACTS

More people in the United States die during the first week of the month than during the last, an increase that may be a result of the abuse of substances purchased with benefit checks that come at the beginning of each month.

In the film Forrest Gump, all the still photos show Forrest with his eyes closed.

There are an average of 18,000,000 items for sale at any time on EBay.

The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam.

U.K. telecom provider Telewest Broadband is testing a device that hooks to your PC and wafts a scent when certain e-mails arrive.

In 1993, David McLean developed lung cancer. He died on October 12, 1995. McLean's death made him the second Marlboro Man to die of lung cancer. Another actor, Wayne McLaren, died in 1992 at the age of 51 from lung cancer.

There is a bar in London that sells vaporized vodka, which is inhaled instead of sipped.

According to market research firm NPD Fashionworld, fifty percent of all lingerie purchases are returned to the store.

On EBay, there are an average of $680 worth of transactions each second.

The Eiffel Tower shrinks 6 inches in winter.

The first FAX machine was patented in 1843, 33 years before Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone.

72% of Americans sign their pets' names on greeting cards they send out.

In an effort to encourage the use of nuclear energy, the United States lent highly enriched uranium to countries all over the world between 1950 and 1988. Enough weapons-grade material to make 1,000 nuclear bombs has still not been returned by such countries as Pakistan, Iran, Israel and South Africa.

Homing pigeons use roads where possible to help find their way home. In fact, some pigeons followed roads so closely that they actually flew around traffic circles before choosing the exit that led them home.

A snowflake can take up to a hour to fall from the cloud to the surface of the Earth.

Only 5 percent of the ocean floor has been mapped in as much detail as the surface of Mars.

The only people whose likenesses adorn Pez dispensers are Betsy Ross and Paul Revere.

Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter".

In a nod to astronauts, Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space.

Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) have registered for the list themselves.

An iceberg the size of Long Island, New York, has broken off Antarctica and has blocked sea lanes used by both ships and penguins.

In 2003, the Transportation Security Administration dropped a requirement that air marshals pass a marksmanship test. Some applicants were even hired after they repeatedly shot flight attendants in mock hijacking episodes.

As of January 2004, the United States economy now borrows $1,500,000,000 each day from foreign investors.

A Costa Rican worker who makes baseballs earns about $2,750 annually. The average American pro baseball player earns $2,377,000 per year.

Former keyboard player for Jethro Tull David Palmer is now a woman named Dee Palmer. He waited until his wife died before going through with his longtime desire for a sex change.

During Bill Clinton's entire eight year presidency, he only sent two e-mails. One was to John Glenn when he was aboard the space shuttle, and the other was a test of the e-mail system.

Albert Einstein never knew how to drive a car.

The UK's best selling hiking magazine published faulty coordinates for descending Scotland's tallest peak (Ben Nevis), and recommended a route that leads climbers off the edge of a cliff.

The Mars Rover "Spirit" is powered by six small motors the size of "C" batteries. It has a top speed of 0.1 mph.

Zeppo Marx (the unfunny one of the Marx Brothers) had a patent for a wristwatch with a heart monitor.

The entire town of Capena, Italy (including children as young as 2 years old) lights up cigarettes each year in honor of St. Anthony's Day. This tradition is centuries old.

Microsoft threatened 17 year old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website named MikeRoweSoft.com.

As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.

There is a Starbucks in Myungdong, South Korea that is five stories tall.

There has been no mail delivery in Canada on Saturday for the last thirty five years.

The weight of air in a milk glass is about the same as the weight of an aspirin tablet.

The world's smallest winged insect is the Tanzanian parasitic wasp. It's smaller than the eye of a housefly.

Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

If you have three quarters, four dimes and four cents, you have $1.19. But you cannot make exact change for a dollar.

There are more plastic flamingoes in the United States than real ones.

The chance that you will die on the way to buy your lottery ticket is greater than the chance of you winning the big prize in most lotteries.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton Look-Alike contest.

An average of 100 people choke to death on ball point pens each year.

The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

The Bible has been translated into Klingon.

Toto was paid $125 per week while filming the "Wizard of Oz".

All polar bears are left handed.

To help reduce budget deficits, several states have begun reducing the amount of food served to prison inmates. In Texas, the number of daily calories served to prisoners was cut by 300, saving the state $6,000,000 per year.

The only member of the band ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.

Pope John Paul II is the world's Scrabble champion in the over-70 category.

Montpelier, Vermont is the only state capitol without a McDonald's.

In 1993, the board of governors at Carl Karcher Enterprises voted (5 to 2) to fire Carl Karcher. Carl Karcher is the founder of Carls Jr. restaurants.

The little hole in the sink that lets the water drain out, instead of flowing over the side, is called a "porcelator."

The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first flight.

Ted Turner owns 5% of New Mexico.

Over 8 years, this happened 284 times: "Cosmo" Kramer went through Jerry Seinfeld's apartment door.

The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel fuel that it burns.

There are more 100 dollar bills in Russia currently than there are in the United States.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

65% of Elvis impersonators are of Asian descent.

Burt Reynolds was originally cast to be Han Solo in the first Star Wars film. He dropped out before filming.

Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter" in 2000.

There are only three types of snakes on the island of Tasmania and all three are deadly poisonous.

Television stations hung banners at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, including Al-Jazeera, until it was noticed and taken down.

A woman was chewing what was left of her chocolate bar when she entered a Metro station in Washington DC. She was arrested and handcuffed; eating is prohibited in Metro stations.

The New York City subway system, in an effort to raise revenue, is considering selling sponsorships of individual stations to corporations. Riders could soon be getting off at Nike Grand Central Station or Sony Times Square.

The Nike swoosh was designed by a Portland State University student, and purchased by Nike for $35.

Gerald Ford once worked as a cover model for Cosmopolitan magazine.

Gillette spent $1,000,000 to place razor samples in the welcome bags handed out at the Democratic National Convention, only to have them confiscated as they were considered a threat. This caused huge delays at all security checkpoints.

Quebec City, Canada, has about as much street crime as Disney World.

Jim Carrey voted in 2004 at the Beverly Hills City Hall. He had an assistant wait in line for him, however.

As part of a charity event, 500 cats were spayed and neutered in the cafeteria of an elementary school. School was cancelled for days and $10,000 was spent on cleaning and sterilizing the room.

The United States has five percent of the world's population, but twenty-five percent of the world's prison population.

The largest McDonald's is in Beijing, China - measuring 28,000 square feet. It has twenty nine cash registers.

A house in Baghdad worth $15,000 before the Iraq war now sells for $120,000 to $150,000.

There are between 5,000 and 7,000 tigers kept as pets in the United States.

The fertility rate in states that voted for George Bush is 12% higher than states that favored John Kerry.

The chicken is one of the few things that man eats before it's born and after it's dead.

The number of US college students studying Latin is three times the number studying Arabic.

If you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves.

Some dogs can predict when a child will have an epileptic seizure, and even protect the child from injury. They're not trained to do this, they simply learn to respond after observing at least one attack.

32 out of 33 samples of well-known brands of milk purchased in Los Angeles and Orange counties in California had trace amounts of perchlorate. Perchlorate is the explosive component in rocket fuel.

The remains of 125 people will be launched into space where they will orbit the Earth for centuries.

The leading cause of on-the-job deaths in workplaces in America is homicide.

So far, Congress has authorized $152,600,000,000 for the Iraq war. This is enough to build over 17,500 elementary schools.

Americans take an average of just ten days per year vacation. In France, the law guarantees everyone five weeks of vacation, and most full-time workers get two full months vacation.

The IRS admits that one in five people who call their help line get the wrong answer to their question.

20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth.

Harry S Truman's middle name was S. Just S, without the period. (thanks to Eric Snyder)

Van Halen singer David Lee Roth trained to be an EMT in New York City, and planned to be certified by November 2004.

The thong accounts for 25% of the United States women's underwear market.

On average, 40% of all hotel rooms in the United States remain empty every night.

When you hear a bullwhip snap, it's because the tip is traveling faster than the speed of sound.

There is a new television show on a British cable called "Watching Paint Dry". Viewers watch in real-time. Gloss, semi-gloss, matte, satin, you name it. Then viewers vote out their least favorite.

The largest ocean liners pay a $250,000 toll for each trip through the Panama Canal. The canal generates fully one-third of Panama's entire economy.

French author Michel Thaler published a 233 page novel which has no verbs.

The spring thaw finally allows cemeteries in Alaska to start digging graves for those who died during the winter.

When Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen turned 18 in mid-2004, they took official control of a company worth more than the gross national product of Mongolia. Their earnings in 2003 topped $1 billion.

Orthodox rabbis warned that New York City drinking water might not be kosher; it contains harmless micro-organisms that are technically shellfish.

Thoughts On Aging

You know you're not a kid anymore...

Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make whoopee" and you answer "Pick one, I can't do both!"

You enjoy watching the washer and dryer in action. (thanks to Larry the K)

You stop lying about your age and you start bragging about it.

Your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, but you're barefoot.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

You're cautioned to "slow down" - not by the police but by your doctor!

You are getting a little action today - but that means the fiber is working.

You think "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

You think an "all-nighter" is not having to get up to pee.

A sexy woman walks by and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

You're the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.

You're smiling all the time because you can't hear a thing anyone is saying.

You're very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.

You're aware that other people's grandchildren are not as cute as yours.

You're very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).

You're not grouchy; you just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.

You're wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just your left leg.

You're having trouble remembering simple words like...

You're a walking storeroom of facts - you've just lost the key to the storeroom door.

Everything either dries up or leaks.

You realize that aging is not for wimps.

You enjoy watching the news.

The phone rings and you hope it's not for you.

The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

People ask what color your hair USED to be.

You're proud of your lawn mower.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn't breaking any laws.

FEW DAYS AWAY DUE TO FLU, BACK ONLINE AGAIN

INTERESTING TRUE FACTS

Fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.

Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.

There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.

Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet.

3.9% of all women surveyed say they never wear underwear.

Superman is featured on every episode of "Seinfeld", either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.

85% of the men that die while having sex are cheating on their wives.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28

Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38

Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80

Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50

Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58

Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches

Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90

Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3

Chances that a burglary in the United States will be solved: 1 in 7

One third of the land in the United States is owned by the government.

The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.

Between 1942 and 1944, Academy Awards were made of plaster.

John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer.

In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer.

Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer.

One of Hewlett Packard's first ideas was an automatic urinal flusher.

Eric Clapton did not play the very famous first riff on the song "Layla". That was Duane Allman. Clapton comes in later.

There are more cars in Southern California than there are cows in India.

The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows.

The province of Alberta, Canada is completely free of rats.

Illinois has the most personalized license plates of any state.

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

Fleas can jump 130 times higher than their own height. In human terms this is equal to a 6 foot person jumping 780 feet into the air.

Snakes are true carnivores as they eat nothing but other animals. They do not eat any type of plant material.

There are no venomous snakes in Maine.

The blue whale can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. This is the loudest sound produced by a living animal and has been detected as far away as 530 miles.

Erosion at the base of Niagara Falls (USA) undermines the shale cliffs and as a result, the falls have receded approximately 7 miles over the last 10,000 years.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

North Dakota has never had an earthquake.

Alexander Graham Bell (who invented the telephone) also set a world water-speed record of over seventy miles an hour at the age of 72.

There is enough fuel in a full tank of a jumbo jet to drive an average car four times around the world.
 

 Hawaii Nis moving toward Japan 4 inches every year.

Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror.

The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk.

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

One person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In 2018, the month of February will not have a full moon.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on the job (in case their pants split).

The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs."

If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.

If the Nile River were stretched across the United States, it would run nearly from New York to Los Angeles.

San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.

The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years. Its concrete will not be fully cured for another 500 years.

Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated too.

All of David Letterman's suits are custom made - there are no creases in his suit trousers.

Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.

Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a  home run.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."

If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born.

In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.

The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.

The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.

The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

People in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike, and they are represented by the same symbol.

Chicago is closer to Moscow than it is to Rio de Janeiro.

Dogs have two sets of teeth, just like humans. They first have 30 "puppy" teeth, then 42 adult teeth.

In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed.

A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.

The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body.

Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he composed.

There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia.

Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts.

In 1920, Babe Ruth broke the single season home run record, with 29. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 30 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 50 home runs.

A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage.

Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights.

Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch.
 

 Sports Illustratd magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option.

There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one.

The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.

Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series.

Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication.

Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it.

A perfect SAT score is 1600 combined. Bill Gates scored 1590 on his SAT. Paul Allen, Bill's partner in Microsoft, scored a perfect 1600. Bill Cosby scored less than 500 combined.

Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas.

Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist".

McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling).

The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail.

Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government.

All of Queen Anne's 17 children died before she did.

There are over 87,000 Americans on waiting lists for organ transplants.

American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American.

A Dutch court ruled that a bank robber could deduct the 2,000 Euros he paid for his pistol from the 6,600 Euros he has to return to the bank he robbed.

The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.

Last December, the House of Representatives earmarked $50,000,000 to create an indoor rain forest in Iowa.

Amusement park attendance goes up after a fatal accident. It seems many people want to ride upon the same ride that killed someone.

For every ton of fish that is caught in all the oceans on our planet, there are three tons of garbage dumped into the oceans.

June Foray did the voice for Rocky the Flying Squirrel and the Chatty Cathy dolls.

Japanese and Chinese people die on the fourth of the month more often than any other dates. The reason may be that they are "scared to death" by the number four. The words four and death sound alike in both Chinese and Japanese.

People with initials that spell out GOD or ACE are likely to live longer than people whose initials spell out words like APE, PIG, or RAT.

Albert Einstein Quotes

Quotes from a master thinker

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research.

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity!

Why is it that nobody understands me, yet everybody likes me?

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius (and a lot of courage) to move in the opposite direction.

I'm no Einstein.

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin - what else does a man need to be happy?

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

One does not make wars less likely by formulating rules of warfare.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.

If the facts don't fit the theory,change the facts.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

I never worry about the future - it comes soon enough.

The only real valuable thing is intuition.

A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

When a blind beetle crawls over the surface of a curved branch, it doesn’t notice that the track it has covered is indeed curved. I was lucky enough to notice what the beetle didn’t notice.

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

If A is a success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut.

I do not play games; there is no time for it. When I get through with work, I don’t want anything that requires the working of the mind.

With fame, I become more and more stupid - which of course is a very common phenomenon.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe.

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain. As far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Marriage is but slavery - made to appear civilized.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal - not to people or objects.

Only the one who does not question is safe from making a mistake.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking.

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.

You see - wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: You send signals here, and they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

I have no special talents; I am only passionately curious.

It is abhorrent to me when a fine intelligence is paired with an unsavory character.

A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.

Love brings much happiness, much more so than pining for someone brings pain.

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you that mine are still greater.