LET’S TALK ABOUT MONEY !!!!

(PART 2)

I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day.

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I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money.

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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

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It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.

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Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

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The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

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When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

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It isn't enough for you to love money— it's also necessary that money should love you.

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To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

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When a man's stomach is full it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor.

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A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich.

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I make a lot of money, but I don't want to talk about that. I work very hard and I'm worth every cent.

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No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions - he had money, too.

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Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

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The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it. (on junk bonds)

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When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.

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I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

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Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing.

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There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.

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You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.

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Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!

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A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'

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If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company: I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

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Pound notes are the best religion in the world.

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I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

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