A Little Test

Take 3 minutes and try this - it will freak you out!! The person who sent this said her wish came true 10 minutes after they read the mail. But no cheating!

This game has a funny/creepy outcome. Don't read ahead, just do it in order. It takes about 3 minutes - it's worth a try. Firstget a pen and paper.

When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you
actually know,and go with your first instincts! Scroll down one line at a time - don't read ahead or you'll ruin the fun!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through to 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. Don't look ahead or it won't turn out right!

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family) in the 4th, 5thand 6th spots.Don't cheat or you'll be upset that you did.

5. Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10 and 11.

6. Finally, make a wish.And here is the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about your mind.

10. And 11 is the song telling how you feel about life.

Weird Humor

Here are some twisted jokes, try to find the meaning of them(answers are below)

1. Why can't an American photographer take a picture of an Asian with a hat?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. What's the next letter in the series?: W T N _?

4. A boy and his father are driving home. They have to cross some train tracks. That day the stop lights for the tracks were broke and they didn't know a train was coming. A train hit them. They were rushed to the hospital where the father died.The son had to have immediate surgery. The surgeon took one look at the boy and said "I can't operate on him because he's my son!" how can that be?

5. Before you go into the bathroom you're American. When you'rein the bathroom, what are you?

Answers below:
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
*********
Answers:

1. You need a camera to take a picture, not a hat!

2. Most people have only one birth day.

3. It's WTNL (What's The Next LETTER)

4. The surgeon was his mother.

5. European (you're a peeing!) :)

MENSA IQ Test

Answers appear after the questions... NO CHEATING!!!

1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and theuser doesn't see it. What is it?

2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?

3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?

4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a
battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion 8."Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?

6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their
religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?

7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?

8. A woman from New York married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died,and she never divorced. How was this possible?

9. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?

10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door"to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.

12. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?

13. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or"The yolk of the egg is white"?

14. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a manwith a wooden leg. Why not?

15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show," One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?

16. After the new Canon Law that took effect on November 27,1983, would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?

17. How many outs are there in an inning?

18. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the Ark?

19. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he
weigh?

20. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?

ANSWERS

1. A coffin.

2. The child was born before 1776.

3. Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).

4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.

5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.

6. The word "and".

7. They fall in the same year every year. New Year's Day
justarrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very
late in the same year.

8. The lady was a Justice of the Peace.

9. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.

10. Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.

11. "one word"

12. Penguins live in the Antarctic.

13. Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow.

14. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.

15. They were husband and wife.
 
16. No. A dead man can marry no one.

17. Six . Three in each half of the inning.

18. Moses took no animals. It was Noah on the Ark.

19. Meat.

20. Nine.

Things that Make you Say Hmmm...

 

-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 

-It's a dog eat dog world out there. And they're short on napkins. 

-Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 

-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 

-Atheism is a nonprophet organization. 

-If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 

-The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 

-Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent. 

-Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 

-Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
-On the other hand, you have different fingers. 

-Married people don't live longer than single people. It just seems longer. 

-I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 

-If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Trick or Treat!

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the morning after.

1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

50 Top Headlines

1.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

2.Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

3.Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be
Belted

4.Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

5.Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

6.Farmer Bill Dies in House

7.Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8.Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

9.Stud Tires Out

10.Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

11.Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

12.Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

13.British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

14.Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

15.Eye Drops off Shelf

16.Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

17.Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

18.Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

19.Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

20.Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

21.Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

22.Miners Refuse to Work after Death

23.Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

24.Stolen Painting Found by Tree

25.Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

26.Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout 
Counter

27.Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

28.Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

29.Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84

30.War Dims Hope for Peace

31.If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

32.Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

33.Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

34.Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

35.Deer Kill 17,000

36.Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

37.Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

38.New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

39.Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

40.Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

41.Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

42.Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

43.British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

44.Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

45.Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

46.Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

47.New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

48.Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

49.Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

50.Air Head Fired

Ideas About Science

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the 'most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating. [this guy is going to do well in college! *haha* ...Lj]

Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.

Lime is a green-tasting rock.

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.

We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.

Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

The wind is like the air, only pushier.

REAL ANSWERS FROM EARTH SCIENCE EXAMS

The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.

Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.

The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.

We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.

Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.

The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.

We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.

The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt

tips how TO ANNOY PEOPLE

*In the memo field of all your checks, write, "for sensual massage."

* Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

* If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking with others.

* Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

* Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions, "to keep them tuned up."

* Reply to everything someone says with, "that's what YOU think."

* Practice making fax and modem noises.

* Make beeping noises when you back up.

* Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophecy."

* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

* Staple papers in the middle of the page.

* Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

* Honk and wave to strangers.

* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register.

* TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

* type only in lowercase.

* dont use any punctuation either

* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait -- I messed it up." Then repeat.

* Ask people what gender they are.

* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

* Sing along at the opera.

    * Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about "psychological profiles."

* Tell your friends that you can't attend their party, five days prior to the event, because you're "not in the mood."

 MY DIET RULES,IT WORKS

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

7. Cookie pieces contain no fat--the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.