Grade change form

Date:

Dear Professor,

My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because:

1. There must be a mistake somewhere.

2. I was not well at the time of the examination.

3. My mind always goes blank during an examination.

4. This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship.

5. This is the only course in which I received a poor grade

6. This mark grieved my mother (or Father). whose pride I am.

7. Conditions in the room were not conductive to concentration.

8. The examination was unfair and unfairly distributed over the subject

9. I have to work after school and nights; therefore I should be given a break.

10. I am married; therefore, I should be given a break.

11. I would have done much better if I had taken the examination give to one of the other sections.

12. Several people around me copied from my paper during the examination yet they received higher marks than I did. Surely this is not fair.

13. The reason I did not do better is because I am very honest. I do no wish to say anything against any other members of the class.

14. I know many of the class members who do not work as hard as I do an who got a better grade. I am recognized among my classmates as a good student - you just ask any one of them.

15. The question were ambiguous, and therefore, my answers should be graded according to the reasonable interpretations that I made of your questions.

16. Many of the questions could not be answered with straight facts; they were matters of opinion. I do not believe I should be penalize just because my opinions differ from those of the instructor.

17. I have studied this subject from the broad philosophical viewpoint and therefore, I was unable to answer your technical-based question

18. I am philosophically oriented to the realm of ideas; I respond to the sweep and scope of great intellects. My work is beyond the interest in petty details and parrot-like memorizing of those who are merely students

19. At the time of the exam, I was suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance and was incapable of coping with the stress of the hour.

20. It is not a higher mark I seek; I care nothing about marks; I think marks are wicked and I disapprove of them. However, this pernicious system of which I am a victim requires marks for achieving success and therefore, I seek a higher mark.

Thank you,

Andrea

 

Monthly overall work evaluation

Name: _____________________     Date: _______

_____________________________________________

KNOWLEDGE:__ Really knows what he's doing.

          __ Knows just enough to be dangerous.

          __ Only half a brain and is dangerous.

          __ His coffee cup has a higher I.Q.

___________________________________________

ACCURACY: __ Does excellent work is not preoccupied.

          __ Pretty good accuracy with large numbers.

          __ Must take off shoes to count above ten.

          __ What's a number?

___________________________________________

ATTITUDE: __ Extremely co-operative.

          __ Brown noser in good standing.

          __ Often annoys co-workers and fights.

          __ Doesn't care, never did, never will.

_________________________________________

RELIABILE:__ Works so hard he gets extra days off.

          __ Very dependable.

          __ Rely on his being first one out the door.

          __ Absolutely totally worthless.

___________________________________________

APPEARANCE: __ Extremely neat and clean.

            __ Looks great on his day off.

            __ Flies take him over fresh manure.

            __ Dirt, filthy, smelly, and ugly.

_________________________________________

PERFORMANCE: __ Works hard if money is involved.

             __ Does great work--at evaluation time.

             __ Works well after ten cups of coffee.

             __ Couldn't do less if he were in a coma.

_________________________________________

LEADERSHIP: __ Carries chainsaw and gets good results.

            __ Macho attitude. Commands total disgust.

            __ One time some listened to him whine.

            __ Unable to lead even the most ignorant.

________________________________________

I understand that I have been counseled and understand

my rights under the privacy act of 1974. I further

acknowledge that I am as stupid as a football bat,

and I will make some attempt to correct my deficiencies.

              ____________________________

                                   Employee signature

Vending machine

After many unhappy replies from our current

vending service we decided that what they

really needed was a different form letter

that was more closely tied to their true

feeling:

        BFD Vending Service

Thank you for your inquiry/comments/complaints

about our vending service.

___ We are aware that _____________ machine

has not been stocked in _____ days.

  __ We are waiting for the weekend.

  __ We are out of items that have expired.

  __ We're busy, don't bother us about this.

  __ We don't care.

___ We are aware that the price for _______

seems high at $_______ but,

  __ we have to make a living.

  __ we use an algorithm 3*retail+your_age.

  __ we charge others more.

  __ we adjust it to allow for spoilage.

___ We are aware that

  __ the sodas are warm

  __ the milk is curdled

  __ sandwiches are stale

  __ gum is hard

  __ candy bars are petrified

     and assure you that that is

     the way it is supposed to be, really.

___ We understand that

  __ the bill changer can't,

  __ coin return won't,

  __ product selection doesn't,

     and believe that

  __ you should relax, it all evens out.

  __ learn to live with it.

  __ bring in your own change next time.

  __ be happy it gave you anything.

  __ quit eating so much junk food.

Thank you and Happy Eating.