Why Men Can't Win...

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt
and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.

If you don't, you're insensitive. 

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.

If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.

If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

 

Friendship Test

First things first: 

NO CHEATING Don't cheat. 

This is a little game that has a pretty funny/creepy outcome. Don't read ahead, just do it in order. It takes about 3 minutes It's worth it.
It's kinda eerie.... 

First, Get a blank piece of paper and pen. 

P.S. When you are asked to choose names, make sure it's people you ACTUALLY KNOW, and go with your first instincts! 

Scroll down one line at a time - don't read ahead or you'll ruin the fun!! 

1.) First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 

2.) Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write any two numbers you want. 

3.) Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay). Don't look ahead-or it won't turn out right. 

4.) Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th and 6th spots. Don't cheat or you'll be upset that you did. 

5.) Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10 and 11. 

6.) Finally, make a wish
And here is the key for that game.. 

1.) You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game 

2.) The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 

3.) The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 

4.) You care most about the person you put in 4. 

5.) The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 

6.) The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 

7.) The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 

8.) The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 

9.) The tenth space is the song that tells you most about your mind. 

10.) And 11 is the song telling how you feel about life.

 

Husband store

Recently a "Husband Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

First floor

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor

The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left."

 

The Rules

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notifications.

3. No male can possilby know all the rules. Nearly all females are born
with this knowledge.

4. If the female suspects the male knows the rules she may immediately
change some or all the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which is the direct result of a male having said or done something wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male can never change his mind without the express written consent
of a female.

11. The female has every right to be upset or angry at any time.

12. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to
be angry or upset.

13. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or
not she want him to be angry or upset.

14. Any attempt to change the rules could result in severe bodily harm.