Tuesday, November 6, 2012



Seminars for Females/Males

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Seminars for Females (Prepared and presented by Males)

1. Elementary map reading

2. Crying and law enforcement


3. Advanced math seminar: Programming your VCR


4. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours


5. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: A study in contrast.


6. PMS: It's your problem, not mine ("It's happened monthly since puberty-deal with it.")


7. Driving
I. Getting past automatic transmissions

8. Driving II. The meaning of blinking orange lights


9. Driving III. Approximating a constant speed


10. Driving IV. Makeup and Driving; it's as simple as oil and water


11. Football: Not a game; a sacrament


12. Telephone Translations (Formerly titled, "Me too" equals "I love you")


13. How to earn your own money


14. Gift giving fundamentals (Formerly titled, "Fabric bad, electronics good")


15. Putting the seat down by yourself: Potential energy is on your side


16. Beyond "Clean and Dirty" - The nuances of wearable laundry


17. Yes, you can fill up at a self service station


18. Joys of the remote control; Reaping the benefits of 50 channels


19. What comes around, goes around: Why his credit card is not a toy


20. His best friend can be yours too


21. His poker games: Deal yourself out


22. Commitment Schmittment (Formerly titled, "Wedlock Schmedlock")


23. To honor and obey: Remembering the small print above "I do"


24. Why your mother is unwelcome in the house


25. Your mate: selfish bastard, or victimized sensitive man?


Seminars For Males (Prepared and Presented by Females)

1. Combatting stupidity

2. You too can do housework


3. PMS: Learn when to keep your mouth shut


4. How to fill an ice tray


5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas: give us money


6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4am


7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled, "Don't wash my silks")


8. Parenting: It doesn't end with conception


9. Get a life; learn to cook


10. How not to act like a jackass when you're obviously wrong


11. Spelling: Even you can get it right


12. Understanding your financial incompetence


13. You: The weaker sex


14. Reasons to give flowers


15. How to stay awake in public


16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom


17. Garbage: Getting it to the curb


18. You can fall asleep without it if you really try


19. The morning dilemma if IT is awake: Take a shower


20. I'll wear it if I damn well please


21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly titled "No, it's not a bidet")


22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms


23. Give me a break: Why we know your excuses are bull


24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost


25. The remote control: Overcoming your dependency


26. Romanticism: Ideas other than sex


27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes


28. Mothers-in-law: They are people too


29. Male bonding: Leaving your friends at home


30. You too can be a designated driver


31. Seeing the true you (formerly titled, "You don't look like Mel Gibson when naked")


32. Changing your underwear: It really works


33. The attainable goal: removing "tits" from your vocabulary


34. Fluffing the blankets after flatulating is not necessary


35. Techniques for calling home before you leave work

 

Chesty Topic


Women with Big Tits...

..can get a taxi on the worst days 

..have a neat place to carry spare change 

..have always been the center of the arts (art) 

..make jogging a spectator sport 

..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub 

..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) 

..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie 

..can always carry a little extra 

..always float better 

..know where to look first for lost earrings 

..rarely lack for a slow dance partner

..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner Women with Little Tits...

..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public 

..always look younger 

..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap 

..can always see their toes and shoes 

..can sleep on their stomachs 

..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars 

..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts 

..know that everything more than a handful is wasted 

..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle 

..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out


Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve!


10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"
And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, "I can do better than THAT!"

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