JOKES

The Programmer and the Princess

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,

“If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said,

“If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,

“If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want.”

Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked,

“What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?”

The programmer said,

“Look, I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend -- but a talking frog, now that's cool.”

Marketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

Blondes Love Puzzles

There was this bartender and he was working at the bar one night. In walked a group of blondes and they were chanting:

"44 days! 44 days!"

One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in a frame. The bartender leaned towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked,

"Why are you chanting 44 days?"

She set down the puzzle on the counter and said,

"A lot of people think us blondes are dumb, so to show them, we bought this puzzle and put it together. It said 1-3 months but we completed it in 44 days!"