Russians 'never, ever had sex in space': official

Russian or Soviet cosmonauts never had sex in space in the 50 years of human exploration of the cosmos. And that's official, according to a Russian expert. As for Americans, well, you'd better ask them. 

"There's no official or unofficial evidence that there were instances of sexual intercourse or the carrying out of sexual experiments in space," Valery Bogomolov, deputy director of the Moscow-based Institute of Biomedical Problems told the Interfax news agency.” At least, in the history of Russian or Soviet space exploration this most certainly was not the case," said Bogomolov.Rumors have persisted for years of secret Russian and American programs to test the effects of weightlessness on sex but this has always been strongly denied by both sides.” As for American space exploration, well, I just don't have the information to categorically deny that," said Bogomolov. "There are just anecdotal rumours which are not worth trusting," he added.

  Swiss Auction Tempts Buyers with Erotic Watches


Open-minded collectors seeking an unusual conversation piece may want to snap up one of a rare assortment of erotic watches coming under the hammer in Switzerland this weekend.
 An important private collection of 33 watches from the 18th and 19th centuries featuring racy tableaux will be offered for sale Sunday at Antiquorum, a Geneva-based auction house specialising in fine timepieces.

Among the sale’s highlights is an uncommon early 19th Century 18-carat watch by Genevan craftsman Henry Capt expected to fetch $70,000 (43,516 pounds) to $90,000 and featuring two automata — one on the front of the watch depicting an idyll of doves and musicians and another hidden one showing a couple in an amorous embrace. Buyers with about $20,000 to $30,000 to spare meanwhile could be tempted by a very rare heart-shaped gilt metal watch by London watchmaker James Cox around 1780. It has two concealed paintings on enamel that include a lady secretly spying two partially clothed lovers caught in an adventurous position. The watches, mainly crafted in Switzerland, are part of a wider collection of more than 700 erotic artefacts painstakingly assembled over 25 years, including walking sticks, statues and ivory objects designed for autoerotic stimulation, Antiquorum Director Etienne Lemenager told Reuters. The collection’s septuagenarian Swiss owner, who wants to remain anonymous, plans to sell the remaining objects in a separate auction in France later this year as nobody in his family is interested in carrying on his work, Lemenager said.“He enjoyed collecting and now he is enjoying selling because he was involved with us doing the catalogue and was happy to provide comments on some of the pocket watches,” Lemenager said, adding that preparing the sale was a lot of fun.

The manufacture of watches with explicit motifs — often concealed from immediate view — began in the 17th century for the Chinese market, with the most luxurious timepieces created for the Emperor and his retinue.
In the 18th century watchmakers introduced rhythmic interest by incorporating tiny automata to the erotic scenes and watches containing libertine scenes were made for the Far East, followed by India and more recently by the Middle-East. Only a very few, highly skilled horologists crafted these items, most of which feature finely painted miniatures on enamel and varicoloured gold ornaments.

You think English is easy??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.               
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about howto row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with ‘quick’?

  You lovers of the English language might enjoy this...


There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP,
so........it is time to shut UP!
Now it's UP to you what you do with these quotes

Amusing Droll or Funny Thoughts of the Day

 

•    .Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby 

 

 •    I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Stephen Wright

•    Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be. - Don Quixote 

 •    I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

Inspirational Thought for the Day




 •    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. - Mark Twain 




 •    The journey to happiness involves finding the courage to go down into ourselves and take responsibility for what's there: all of it. - Richard Rohr
•    By learning you will teach; by teaching you will understand. Latin Proverb
•    Age considers; youth ventures. – Rabindranath  Tagore
•    One moment of patience may ward off great disaster.  One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. - Chinese Proverb
•    Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. - Author unknown

 
•    History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies. - Alexis de Tocqueville





•    It is one of life's laws that as soon as one door closes another opens. But the tragedy is we look at the closed door and disregard the open one. - Andre Gide
•    Success is not the key to happiness.  Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. - Albert Schweitzer





•    Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. - Mother Teresa




•    The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. - Chinese Proverb
•    I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street; I met a man who had no feet. - Ancient Persian Saying

                 ADVICE FOR MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE:

I was working out in the gym when 

                                                     I spotted this sweet young thing... 

                                              
  I asked a trainer that was near-by,
   "What machine should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"
   The trainer looked at me and said,
   "The ATM in the lobby."

Wise Quotes

Here is our collection of wise quotes from the famous.  Every occasion will benefit from at least one of these pearls of wisdom.

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. 
Bruce Grocott 
 
People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.
Lee Iacocca

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
Henry Ford

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers

I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.
John D. Rockefeller

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. -
Albert Einstein 

 
There are no wise few.  Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.
GK Chesterton

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Bernard Bailey

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Mary Wilson Little

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
Malcolm Forbes

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian

 



Friends are far more dangerous than enemies, they know everything about you and will not pause to use it against you.
Terra Castle

Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.
Sir William Osler

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Sir Francis Bacon

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Eric offer

 

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
Abraham Lincoln

Wise Words of Wisdom

1.    If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
2.    Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
3.    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
4.    Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand    on. 

5.    On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
6.    Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
7.    If you dig a hole for someone else, you'll fall into it. 
8.    If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
9.    You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
10.  Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't         have said.