Why?
Questions to be Answered
Why do people
point to their wrist when they want to know what time it is, but they don't
point to their pants when they need to ask where the restroom is?
Why are there no pictures of "no flash photography" signs?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
Why is is it called a roach clip? It should be called a pot holder.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do doctors leave the room when you get undressed? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why does a pizza get to the house faster than an ambulance?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's the extra penny?
Why is the original text in a document called "copy"?
Why do drug stores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescription, but smokers can get their cigarettes up front?
Why is the small size of a candy bar the "fun size"? It's more fun to eat a big candy bar.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why are there handicap parking places in front of the skating rink?
Why doesn't whoop-ass doesn't come in bottles?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and then a diet coke?
Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
Why do banks leave both doors open but they chain the pens to the counter?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why do Americans leave their expensive cars on the driveway, but have useless junk in the garage?
Why don't the hairs on your arm get split ends?
Why do drive-up ATMs have instructions in braille?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why is lingerie so popular, if love is blind?
Why does the sun lighten our hair but tan our skin?
Why does lemonade have artificial flavoring but dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why can't women put on their mascara with their eyes closed?
Why do banks charge a fee for "non-sufficient funds" when they know you don't have enough money?
Why do you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why are there no pictures of "no flash photography" signs?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
Why is is it called a roach clip? It should be called a pot holder.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do doctors leave the room when you get undressed? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why does a pizza get to the house faster than an ambulance?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's the extra penny?
Why is the original text in a document called "copy"?
Why do drug stores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescription, but smokers can get their cigarettes up front?
Why is the small size of a candy bar the "fun size"? It's more fun to eat a big candy bar.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why are there handicap parking places in front of the skating rink?
Why doesn't whoop-ass doesn't come in bottles?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and then a diet coke?
Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
Why do banks leave both doors open but they chain the pens to the counter?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why do Americans leave their expensive cars on the driveway, but have useless junk in the garage?
Why don't the hairs on your arm get split ends?
Why do drive-up ATMs have instructions in braille?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why is lingerie so popular, if love is blind?
Why does the sun lighten our hair but tan our skin?
Why does lemonade have artificial flavoring but dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why can't women put on their mascara with their eyes closed?
Why do banks charge a fee for "non-sufficient funds" when they know you don't have enough money?
Why do you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why are outlets
electrical but inlets are geographical?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't anything in Wal-Mart free yet, if they're lowering prices every day?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they call the airport the terminal, if flying is so safe?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why isn't it called an asteroid instead of a hemorrhoid - it's on your butt!
Why is dyslexic such a hard word to spell?
Why are the others here, if we are here to help others?
Why do you believe it when someone tells you there are four billion stars, but you always check when you see the wet paint sign?
Why does lighting an outdoor grill always make the wind blow?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath is in the bottle, the bubbles are always white?
Why do we say "It's colder than hell outside"?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why is the word "lisp" spelled with an "S"?
Why do they call it a building when it's already built?
Why do you have to buy Barbie's friends, if she's so popular?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat has materialized?
Why are mattresses on sale every day? Isn't that the normal price?
Why do we still have apes (if people evolved from apes)?
Why is dental floss mint flavored? All I ever taste is blood and chicken.
Why, if man is descended from apes, do we still have apes?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but he still ducks when someone throws the gun at him?
Why do you keep trying to vacuum up that string, and when it doesn't get picked up, you'll pick it up and then put it down to give the vacuum another chance?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't anything in Wal-Mart free yet, if they're lowering prices every day?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they call the airport the terminal, if flying is so safe?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why isn't it called an asteroid instead of a hemorrhoid - it's on your butt!
Why is dyslexic such a hard word to spell?
Why are the others here, if we are here to help others?
Why do you believe it when someone tells you there are four billion stars, but you always check when you see the wet paint sign?
Why does lighting an outdoor grill always make the wind blow?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath is in the bottle, the bubbles are always white?
Why do we say "It's colder than hell outside"?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why is the word "lisp" spelled with an "S"?
Why do they call it a building when it's already built?
Why do you have to buy Barbie's friends, if she's so popular?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat has materialized?
Why are mattresses on sale every day? Isn't that the normal price?
Why do we still have apes (if people evolved from apes)?
Why is dental floss mint flavored? All I ever taste is blood and chicken.
Why, if man is descended from apes, do we still have apes?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but he still ducks when someone throws the gun at him?
Why do you keep trying to vacuum up that string, and when it doesn't get picked up, you'll pick it up and then put it down to give the vacuum another chance?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
Why is the third
hand on a watch called the second hand?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What exactly is a "whack"?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" and "no chance" mean the same thing?
Why do tug boats push ships?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", when we're already there?
Why do we sit in the stands at the ballpark?
Why is it called "After Dark", when it's really "After Light"?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" completely different?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is "phonics" spelled that way?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Why do we put a suit in a garment bag, and garments in a suitcase?
We is abbreviate such a long word?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they call it a TV set when there's only one?
Why do we sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks at Christmas?
Why is it called rush hour when you don't move?
Why isn't there a speed of dark?
Why are animals made out of meat if we're not meant to eat them?
Why is it that when you attempt to stop something from falling off the table, you manage to knock something else over?
Why aren't there father-in-law jokes?
Why couldn't the Professor on Gilligan's Island fix a boat if he could make a radio out of coconuts?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What exactly is a "whack"?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" and "no chance" mean the same thing?
Why do tug boats push ships?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", when we're already there?
Why do we sit in the stands at the ballpark?
Why is it called "After Dark", when it's really "After Light"?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" completely different?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is "phonics" spelled that way?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Why do we put a suit in a garment bag, and garments in a suitcase?
We is abbreviate such a long word?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they call it a TV set when there's only one?
Why do we sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks at Christmas?
Why is it called rush hour when you don't move?
Why isn't there a speed of dark?
Why are animals made out of meat if we're not meant to eat them?
Why is it that when you attempt to stop something from falling off the table, you manage to knock something else over?
Why aren't there father-in-law jokes?
Why couldn't the Professor on Gilligan's Island fix a boat if he could make a radio out of coconuts?
World's Funniest Joke
Funniest Joke in the World:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Runner Up:
Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."
Another Runner Up:
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
Still Another Runner Up:
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
One More Runner Up:
Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Grad: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"
And Still Another Runner Up:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Amazing - Another Runner Up:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
Last Runner Up:
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "but that would make no sense at all!"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Runner Up:
Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."
Another Runner Up:
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
Still Another Runner Up:
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
One More Runner Up:
Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Grad: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"
And Still Another Runner Up:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Amazing - Another Runner Up:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
Last Runner Up:
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "but that would make no sense at all!"
