Wisdom in Phrases
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you
should have remained a virgin..'
- Lillian
Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose
named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the
description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I
stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been
visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
- Mark Twain
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The secret
of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the
two as close together as possible
- George Burns
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Santa Claus
has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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Be careful
about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all
means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad
one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was
married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has
a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never
hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish
coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol,
caffeine, sugar, and fat.
- Alex Levine
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My luck is
so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't
buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was
thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel
old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink
water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
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We could
certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through
Congress.
- Will Rogers
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Don't worry
about avoiding temptation. As
you grow
older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's
true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall
out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time
a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
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And the
cardiologist's diet: - If
it tastes good, spit it out.
May
your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.
may nothing but happiness come through your door.
