Wisdom in Phrases

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield

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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As

you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.

May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Some smart words to guide you through YOUR LIFE

 
·  Patience is the companion of wisdom - Saint Augustine
·  Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow - Aristotle
·  To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it - Confucius
·  He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot.  He that dare not is a slave - Andrew Carnegie
·  An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind - Shakyamuni Buddha
·  The only way to have a friend is to be one - Ralph Waldo Emerson
·  You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist - Indira Gandhi
·  You must be the change you wish to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi
·  A bowl belongs to whoever needs it - A Native American saying
·  Without memory, there is no healing; without forgiveness, there is no future - Desmond Tutu
·  Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something - Plato
·  Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder – Anon
·  The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order - Brian    Pickrell 

·  Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it - Author unknown
·  He has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard - Unknown
·  I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer - Douglas Adams
·  The empty vessel makes the greatest sound - William Shakespeare
·  Silence and smile are two powerful words.  Smile is the way to solve many problems and Silence is the way to avoid many problems - Anon
·  Knowledge talks, wisdom listens
·  There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full - Henry Kissinger
·  He could start a row in an empty house - Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise
·  I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure - Clarence Darrow
·  He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire - Winston Churchill
·  I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure - W.C. Fields
·  In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back - Charlie Brown
·  To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone - Reba McEntire
·  Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway - Anon
·  Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes called Experience leads us to success
·  A wise man listens to advice - Proverbs 12:15