Degree Courses for Women

1. Silence, the final frontier: Where no woman has gone before. 

2. The undiscovered side of Banking: How to make deposits. 

3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You don t need new shoes everyday. 

4. Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.

5. Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife. 

6. An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit. 

7. Man Management: Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.

8. Personal Space: Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush. 

9. Valuation: Just because it's not important to you. 

10. Communication Skills I: Tears as the last resort and not the first.

11. Communication Skills II: How to think before speaking. 

12. What he really wants: Is buying the right razor blades so difficult. 

13. Driving a car safely: A skill you can also acquire. 

14. Real women drink their share at a party. 

15. Telephones: How to hang up. 

16. Parking: Beginners Course. 

17. Parking (Advanced): Reversing into a parking space. 

18. The Natural Habitat of the Towel: Why they prefer the floor. 

19. Managing your weight: Its not water retention... its fat. 

20. Learning to cook I: Bran is not food. 

21. Learning to cook II: Bringing back bacon and eggs. 

22. Compliments: How to accept them gracefully. 

23. PMS: Your problem... not his.

Why God Created Eve

Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve 

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the Garden. 

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him. 

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself. 

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb. 

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone. And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve... 

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

Women Shorts

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men ?
So they can stand closer to the sink
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How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
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I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
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Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
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One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!"
The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
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What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
1.No mind.
2.No business.
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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"
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Why do women like intelligent men?
Opposites attract.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent....
Wedding cake!!!

An old man

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY , CA . It was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri.

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man...

What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!


Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.

To enjoy YOUR life I've compiled FOR YOU TODAY SOME OF MY favorite LIFE RULES