Marriage quotes

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single.".

Money Quotes

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. J. Paul Getty

A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42.

There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' Lord Barnett

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. Rita Rudner

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. Errol Flynn