POLICE MANUAL

·       "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

 ·       "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

·       "So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

·   "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or i'll give you another ticket."
 

·       "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

·       "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

·       "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

·       "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

·       "Just how big were those two beers?

·     "In God we trust, all others are suspects."