wisdom, knowledge and experience Can Be Sometimes Funny

• James, a young boy of 6, turned to his Grandfather and says, 'When you die, Grampy, I don't want your money. Please will you leave me your memory'
• Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you
• Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so: Douglas Adams
• We can only learn to love by loving: Iris Murdock
• Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes: Oscar Wilde
• These days people seek knowledge, not wisdom. Knowledge is of the past, wisdom is of the future: Vernon Cooper
• Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't: Pete Seeger
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
• Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research
• Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards: Vernon Sanders Law
• There is a fine line between genius and insanity
• Age is a very high price to pay for maturity
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good
• Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life
• Experience is not what happens to a man, it's what a man does with what happens to him: Aldous Huxley
• A light heart lives long: William Shakespeare
• Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?: Jay Leno
• Imagination is more important than knowledge: Albert Einstein
• Change is inevitable; except from vending machines
• You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing

Did You Know ( Part 2)

• The Jersey or walking stick cabbage has a stem as high as a man and can grow 16 feet tall.
• Kilts were invented by the Irish. The word "kilt" is, in fact, Danish.
• The human body burns about 60 calories an hour while asleep, 85 while eating and 130 sitting working at a computer.
• In a national anthem survey, 79% of Americans know the first line of the 'Star-Spangled Banner', but only 37% of Canadians know the first line to 'Oh, Canada', which is really pathetic considering the first line of 'Oh, Canada' is 'Oh, Canada'. - Jay leno.
• When they are closed quickly, the crossover point on a pair of scissors is moving faster than the speed of light.
• Until 1800, cookery was so dangerous that it was the second commonest cause of death among women after childbirth.
• The American musician John Cage [1912-92] is best known for his 1952 composition 4'33", which consists of nothing but total silence. Its three "movements" are "performed" without playing a single note.
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• The 'sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick' is thought to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
• Charlie Chaplin once won only third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
• If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
• It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
• Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
• Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
• Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

• 'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand and 'lollipop' with your right.
• The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
• The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
• The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog', uses every letter of the alphabet.
• The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
• The words 'racecar', 'kayak' and 'level' are palindromes.  They read the same whether you read them left to right or right to left.
• There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
• There are more chickens than people in the world.
• There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and ' facetious.'
• There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
• Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
• Now you know everything.