Diet for Stress

Breakfast:

• 1/2 grapefruit
• 1 slice whole wheat toast
• 8 oz. skim milk

Lunch:

• 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
• 1 cup steamed spinach
• 1 cup herb tea
• 1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon Snack:

• The rest of Oreos in the package
• 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream
• 1 jar hot fudge sauce

Dinner:

• 2 loaves garlic bread
• 4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
• 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
• 3 Snickers bars

Late Evening News:

• Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)

Rules for This Diet

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories.
8. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
10. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
11. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
12. Anything consumed while standing has no calories.  This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
13. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.  (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS

Wise Quotes

Here is our collection of wise quotes from the famous.  Every occasion will benefit from at least one of these pearls of wisdom.

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. 
Bruce Grocott 
 
People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.
Lee Iacocca

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
Henry Ford

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers

I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.
John D. Rockefeller

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. -
Albert Einstein 

 
There are no wise few.  Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.
GK Chesterton

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Bernard Bailey

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Mary Wilson Little

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
Malcolm Forbes

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian

 



Friends are far more dangerous than enemies, they know everything about you and will not pause to use it against you.
Terra Castle

Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.
Sir William Osler

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Sir Francis Bacon

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Eric offer

 

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
Abraham Lincoln