Why people I Like Retirement !!!

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? 
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? 
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to move in.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. 

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. 

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs 
and have fun finding them.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I
got my leotards on,
the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughtersan visit me twice a week'

It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the
difference.

Always Remember This: 
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, 
You grow old because you stop laughing