FUNNY ADVERTISEMENTS HIDDEN MESSAGES

• Semi-annual after-Christmas sale.
• We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $10.00.
• Auto repair service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
• Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
• Tattoos done while you wait.

• Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.
• Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
• For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
• Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
• Wanted: Mother's helper - peasant working conditions.
• Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
• Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
• No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
• Is there chicken in your vegetarian gumbo?
• A person should bathe once in summer but not so often in winter.
• Chemical Formula of Water has two gins - Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin while Hydrogin is gin and water.
• Spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
• Definition of Census taker - a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• Definition of Syntax - Tax paid by the sinners at the church.
• Definition of Virgin Forest - It is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
• Future tense of 'I give' - 'I take'.
• Houses in France are generally made up of Plaster of Paris.
• Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
• Parts of Speech - Lungs and air.
• The word 'trousers' is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• What is H2O and CO2? - H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water. 

• What the residents of Moscow are called? - Mosquitoes.
• Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
• It's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow. How cold will it be?
• Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
• Why do banks charge you an 'insufficient funds' fee on money they already know you don't have?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?

• Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?