Some professions

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl

   enters the room.

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked  

   children.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you

   the time.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that  

   you will look  forward to the trip.